Diamonds in the Rough
by sniperocker123
Summary: "Bella, I'm a vampire." "Um, yea, okay. Uh, good for you. Anything else?" "I love you." "That's better. I thought you'd never say the words. You know as old and experienced as you are, you can be pretty slow."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Ms Meyer owns Twilight and Green Day owns the song.**

**This chapter and the next was dedicated to the StandUp4Katalina compilation.**

**Beta'd by the very awesome DayDreamDreamer :)**

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_So take the photographs and still frames in your mind_

_Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time_

_Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial_

_For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

**-**_Green Day_

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**

"Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug," the chantings continued and I found it close to impossible to refuse. Sure, the carton of beer was something I was _not_ interested in drinking right now, but this was my party after all. I gave a wide smile to all my friends gathered around me and wondered idly if they'd even remember this part of the party tomorrow.

I picked up the beer and gobbled it down, all the while hoping that this was worth the hangover that I was sure to have tomorrow. I brushed that thought aside and lifted my now-empty beer bottle high up in the air and the entire house erupted in cheers. People started looking for another helpless victim to torture and I quickly tried to get out of the lime-light. My only hope was the bar setting right at the back and I made a beeline for there.

"We're gonna miss you Belly-bean. This place is just not gonna be the same after you go," I heard a voice saying and turned around to find my friend Lisa sitting on a bar stool and swinging herself around on it.

"I'm sorry honey. But you know I have no choice. And Forks will be fun, I think," I said trying to feel optimistic.

_Ah, Bella. You are so fucked. Trying to say a town named after cutlery will be fun. God bless your soul._

"But you do know that Arizona is always ready to welcome you back, right? I mean, if Forks doesn't work out, then Phoenix will. It always has. Just come back," Lisa slurred. She was inviting me back now, she'd curse me after tomorrow's hangover.

"Of course, Li. Besides, you couldn't stop me from coming back even if you tried. I still own this house, y'know?"

"Uh huh, "Lisa muttered and I knew this conversation was over. Anything she said after this would be beyond me.

"I have a good feeling about Forks. It will work out. It _has _too," I said, half to myself and then sighed.

_Delusional, much?_

_-_0-

Morning came and with it a pounding headache – just like I'd known there would be. Thankfully I was in my own bed, fully clothed and alone.

_Congratulations Bella. You just reached a new low._

"If you were as wasted as I was last night, you'd be worried too," I whispered.

_God, you need a shrink...talking to yourself, _my 'inner voice'said, her nasal voice irriating me some more.

I stuck my tongue out maturely at her and attempted to get out of my oversized bed, slowly and attempting to be steady. But of course that was better said than done.

"Ahh" I groaned, my hand automatically flying up to cradle my throbbing head. I lay down back into the bed and let my thoughts drift to avenues that did not urgently require both aspirin as well as Alka Seltzer.

Today, in the evening, my flight left for Forks. And despite of what I said, my intentions for coming back to Phoenix were nill. There was nothing left for me here except sad memories and the numerous houses that my mother had left me with.

So going back to my father – Police Chief Charlie Swan – seemed to be the most logical thing to do. That wasn't an issue though. The real problem was the small, green and just _green_ town of Forks.

But before I could dwell too much on that, an all too familiar groan echoed across the house and despite myself, I grinned. Lisa.

-0-

"You get your ass outta here, as soon as I stop the car. Before I kill you for that hangover," Lisa growled as she peered at me through the rear view mirror.

_Your friend's driving for you idiot. And you're not gonna __ride__ shotgun? You're gonna treat her like your chaffeur?_

"No I'm not. But you know I never ride shotgun. Ever," I muttered to Nellie, the name I'd given that nasal bitch. I still didn't know why exactly she was nasal. I wasn't. And she was supposed to be my conscious...right?

An half hour later, Lisa pulled up by the airport and helped me unload my bags onto the trolley.

_Do not cue the awkward silence. Talk to her, you ungrateful bitch._

"I'll see you, Lisa. I'm gonna miss you babe. We'll keep in touch right?" I asked.

"Of course. You take care, ok?" Lisa said softly and then motioned for me to leave quickly. I laughed at my friend and then pecked her on the cheek before walking towards the terminal – presumbly – towards the rest of my existence in the rainy town of Forks.

-0-

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**If you didn't already guess it the song quoted was Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life) :)**

**So…watcha thinking? Let me know.**

**Next update Friday?**

**xxoo**

**Rhea**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Ms Meyer owns Twilight .**

**The song**** for the chapter**** is Feeling Good. **

**Michael Buble's done this song too but I honestly love the Nina Simone version. **

**This chapter was dedicated to the StandUp4Katalina compilation.**

**Beta'd by the very awesome DayDreamDreamer :) She's currently AWOL. So if you see her anywhere, let me know.**

* * *

_Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know_

_Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean_

_Sleep in peace when day is done_

_That's what I mean_

_And this old world is a new world_

_And a bold world_

_For me_

_-Nina Simone_

**Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

"Daddy," I yelled as I spotted him standing with a bouquet of flowers. I wasn't really into flowers or that freaky thingy that some people were into where certain flowers meant certain things, but these ones were beautiful. Hell, I didn't even know flower names well but these...they were bright and beautiful and just so damn petal-y.

I jumped up to him and he immediately wound his arms around me and spun me around. I felt him press a soft kiss to my forehead and I sighed. I really had missed him. Inspite of the phone calls I made everyday – which lasted a lot more than 10 minutes, thank you very much – I still missed the feeling of safety and security that only a father could give his little girl. Needless to say, I really was his little princess.

"I've missed you honey," Char– dad muttered, putting me down and rubbing his back. _That must have really done a number on his back._ "Come on let's go home."

We made small talk on the way home. It was the usual – "_How was school_?", "_Has there been any boy you want to talk about?_", and by far the most surprising – "_Are you sure about moving to Forks_?"

"Why do you say that dad?" I asked. "Aren't you happy that I moved here?"

_Ha that serves you right, you delusional retard. Maybe he really does like his privacy. Never really thought of asking for his opinion first did ya?_

"I am, Bells_. _But you never really liked Forks so I thought that -"

"Stop, dad. If I didn't want to move, I wouldn't have. Trust me," I interrupted and he glanced sideways to give me a smile.

Although the title of being the Chief of Police had made my father a tough man, no way was he too overprotective or too suffocating with me. We had an easy relationship and it wasn't like he imposed too many rules on me.

As soon as the cruiser stopped, I looked up and stared. I might have drooled. Ok, so I didn't spend a lot of time with my father in Forks but no way in hell did my house look like this the last time I came here. This house was huge. And pretty. And huge. And beautiful._ You forgot to mention huge. _

Aha! So my little bitchy conscious was shell shocked too. How do you like that, Nellie?

"Dad...when did you move?" I asked.

"Three days ago, Bell. I sold off the old house," he shrugged. And that's what had my ears all perked up. Charlie never shrugged. Ever.

"Charlie?" I said in a suspicious tone and squinted my eyes.

He shrugged again and I couldn't see through my eyes now – they were so squinted. _You can't see now, Belly-bean, _Nellie laughed and I fought the urge to kill something.

Yea I got it, nutjob. I composed my features into a small smile and waited for Charlie to come around. Eventually, he sighed.

"I may or may not have moved because of Ms. Cope," he said, suddenly interested in the toe of his shoe. I nodded slowly at him and tried my best to control the laughter that was now beginning to take control.

Ms Cope. Office admin at Forks High School by day and my father's stalker by night. She used to be our neighbour at the old house and she seemed to be a nice enough lady until the day she started bring cookies for Charlie. At first Charlie was embarrased, then he was flattered, then tired of her borderline obsessive behaviour and finally, it seems, desperate enough to run for his life.

I gave him a sympathetic smile and went around the cruiser to get my bags. I gathered as many as I could and Charlie dutifully carried the rest.

"Holy moly," were the first things I said when I first entered. The house looked _amazing._ It looked like what a Hollywood movie star's house would look like. The kitchen, the living room, the dining area were all nailed down to perfection.

"Dad, this is just, wow, I don't even know what to say. It looks absolutely perfect."

"Then you, princess, are going to love your room," Charlie said with an excited grin.

-0-

To say that my room was awesome would be the most massive understatement of the century.

Now, I knew my parents were rich. Before she…my mother had left me a lot of wealth. She was the one with the 'old money'. And even though you might think that being the sheriff of a small town may not be the best job in terms of income, Charlie came from a rich family. He could have easily been a big shot but the want to become a cop overuled anything else. That's probably why Gramps didn't like talking about Charlie a lot. He had probably thought that Charlie had not even made an effort to understand business-y stuff before going out to study all things cop. But that's just Gramps.

Back to my room- it was just the way I liked it. Oversized bed, purple covers – just like back home in Phoenix – a little night table, a computer table and my personal favourite – the bookshelf. The bookshelf in question belonged to Gran Marie so I was surprised as to how it ended up here. The rest of my day was spent in profusely thanking my father, him gently asking me not to insult him and me giving up trying to thank him and trying to unpack my stuff in to my new room.

One more thing you should probably know – I can't cook. Like if Tom Cruise' life depended on it.

_You're being too modest Bella. You couldn't cook even if your own life depended on it._

Very true, Nell. Now quit being an asshole. If you can.

So at night we ordered Thai take out and had ouselves some dim sum, spicy lamb with red curry and fried rice. Needless to say, the conversation flowed effortlessly amongst us.

That night, as I laid on my bed – ok that just came out sounding like a terribly used cliché – I thought about my first day in school. Which would be tomorrow. I vaguely remember meeting Angela Weber and Whats-his-name Newton. I wondered if they'd remember me. I tried to remember what Newton looked like but no such luck.

_Maybe he's not worth looking at._

Nellie, I'd promised I'd keep an optimistic attitude, I chastised. Nellie sighed.

It's totally not freaky to hear your conscious sigh...right?

-0-

"How in the world did you mange to get my car shipped here in practically just one day, dad?" I asked, incredulous. It was eight o' clock in the morning and my Jaguar was standing in the driveway. It had come all the way from Arizona and I had no friggin' clue how.

I paused and waited for Nellie to give me a smart-assed comment. No response. I pressed my fingers to my temple and tried again. No luck. A smile slowly found it's place on my face. Maybe I'd been cured of my problem, afterall. I was a free girl now. Time to party and celebrate my new found freedom-

_It's funny how you keep thinking you're getting rid of me. Not so quickly, biatch._

Friggin' Kim Kardashian was back. Damn.

"Always remember this piece of advice, Bella. When money talks, bulshit walks," my father said, tapped my shoulder and turned around to probably get ready for work. That was Charlie Swan for you. His sage advice was ready for all those who were ready to take it. And there were _many_ people willing to take it. Many.

I let out a low whistle and ran my hand lovingly over the hood. This baby was going to do a very important job today. She was gonna give me a ride to Fork's High School. Home of the friggin' Spartans.

-0-

_Will you just look at them? Oh my God, they're all over-dressed. Now, I know its cold. But seriously? They can atleast be dressed well under those layers. Huh. I'm glad you took my advice, Bella. God really gave the world a second chance the day he made ultra skinny fit jeans._

This woman could just not shut up. Ugh, kill me please God.I cut my engine and after a deep breath stepped out of my car into the parking lot of Fork's High School. Not meaning to gloat but you could literally hear the fast paced, loud songs they played in movies in similar situations – when the lead protoganist gets out of a car. I tried looking around but the people would just look away when I turned to them.

_Geez, did no one tell 'em that girls from Arizona aren't cannibals?_

I smiled at Nellie and continued to walk across the lot. The students parted like the frikkin' Red Sea when I passed by, effectively providing an aisle for me.

_You are so going to love this._

My first stop was supposed to be Ms. Cope's office.

_Get ready for hounding, Bella. Actually, be ready to play un-match maker too. You do remember Ms. Cope's obsession with your father, don't you? _

Yes, I do, Nell, thank you very much.

"Oh Isabella, dear, the whole school's been waiting for you. I'm sorry about your mother. She was a great woman," Ms. Cope said, genuinely.

"Thanks. But please, call me Bella," I smiled and then gave her all the details she wanted to know. Once my form was filled and she gave me my timetable and that little piece of paper that all teachers have to sign on the first day, she wished me a good day. Realising that I had been dismissed, I was at the door when she called out my name.

_Ruh-oh._

Seriously Nell? You just quoted Scooby-Doo.

"You wouldn't happen to know if your father is working at the station today or if he's at some other place is he?" Ms. Cope said, batting her eyelashes at me. It _should_ have been attractive. Although to me, it just looked like she was going to have a seizure.

_Geez, trying to impress? I'm straight, honey. _

"Um, I'm not really sure, Ma'am. I could call him and find out though, if you like," I said and made a show of pulling out my phone.

"Oh no dear. It's alright. I'll just drop by the station after school. Thank you," she fluttered and gave me a huge smile.

_ Bella going to witness world's most pathetic love story. And Nellie going to laugh her ass out._

Dear God, give me the strength...

-0-

"So you're from Arizona? That's like, so cool," Jessica droned and I rolled my eyes.

I had yet to understand Jessica's fascination with Arizona. I mean yea, sure, it was my hometown and I loved it but good Lord, had Jessica even been there?

_How does it even matter? Just go with the flow, Bella._

Gee, when did you get so wise Nellie?

"But you don't have much of a tan, do you?" Lauren sneered. Dimwit.

"Not really, no. I'm part albino, "I said, giving her my most fake smile.

Lauren's eyebrows knit together. "I find it hard to believe that you're from Phoenix."

"Then don't," I snapped and gave her another bitch-y smile. Her jaw fell open and I refrained from doing a little victory dance. Apparently no one in high school dared to contradict Lauren Mallory.

_Fear not, Lauren. You're worst nightmare is here._

"So have you settled in well, Bella? Any issues with Forks at all?" Angela asked and I smiled at her. She was a sweetheart.

"No it's all good. In fact, it's working out way better then I thought it would. Forks is cool," I said, around a granola bar that seemed to be in my mouth since forever.

I turned around then and froze.

_Fuck. My. Life._

The five hottest people in the history of _forever_ were walking into the cafetaria. I never thought I'd say this, but the two girls were so hot, I'd totally do them. And I was still frozen.

The first girl to walk in was a black haired, real life Tinkerbell, who literally ballet-ed her way to the table. And holding her hand was a blonde guy who was looking at her with such love and adoration, that I knew I'd have to fight tooth and nail with him just to get my hand on Tink's ass.

The next blonde female looked like she belonged more in the Time magazine than in the school that had apparently sheltered the Spartans. Like, seriously. It should be a crime to be so hot. And perfect. Down to her pinky toe. And yea, I checked.

And the big burly dark haired guy with her looked _huge_. But there was also this goofy kind of a grin on his face. He was probably the most intimidating guy I'd ever seen. But something told me that if I were to, say, hang out with these people, he'd be the best.

And then _he_ walked in.

_BAM!_

Mr. , that'd be his name. Mr. Sensational. And dear Lord was the man smokin' hot. Bronze hair sticking out in all directions in the most delicious way, the strange golden eyes that all of them seemed to have and jeans hanging so low on his hips, they defied gravity. Ok, he needs to be put in jail for being so _HOT_!

_In case you were wondering, that explosion you just heard was nothing big. Apart from the fact_ _that you're right ovary just EXPLODED! Convey thanks to that panty__-__wetting, jaw__-__dropping piece of ass. _

And when he passed by my table he smiled. At me. I think I might've drooled. And I grinned back. At him. And he winked. And I died.

* * *

**A quick thanks to all those who are reading this and have reviewed, favorited or added DITR to their alerts. I'm more thankful than you know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**All your reviews make me smile. I read each and every one of them and they make my day. Thank you so much.**

**Thanks to my beta who was very, very quick and efficient with this chapter **

**The song I found for this chapter is the very famous Everything I do by Bryan Adams. If you read this chapter you will discover that somehow Edward knows more about Bella than she thinks he does. How? Who knows. Alice, maybe?**

**Disclaimer: SM owns it all but Nellie is all mine :P**

**Enjoy!**

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_Look into my eyes_

_And you will find,_

_There's nothing there to hide._

_Take me as I am,_

_Take my life,_

_I will give it all, I would sacrifice._

_ -Bryan Adams_

"May I walk you to Biology?" a faraway voice asked and I nodded mutely. I needed help getting to know the school after all. But my mind - and Nellie - were screaming at me to find out where _Mr. Sensational _had gone. After lunch, the guy just disappeared. I mean, I don't even remember him walking out of the cafeteria.

But the show must go on, right? So I allowed baby-face Newton to escort me to the Biology class that I had.

"Thanks for the...erm yeah, thanks Newton. I'll see you around." _Or not._ I gave him a weak smile and turned to walk into class without waiting for an answer.

And there_ He _was. My very own Eros, Eros of Greek mythology who was supposed to be the god of sex. Yeah _THAT_ Eros. And Eros was grinning at me. And Oh god was Eros _hot_.

I made my way towards the teacher and after being instructed to sit beside an Edward Cullen, I made my way towards _Him_. I sat down on the chair and he angled his seat a little towards me.

He smiled a little and I tentatively smiled back.

"So you're Isabella Swan, huh?" he asked. And his voice...it was nothing like I'd expected it to be. It was warm, charming and genuinely interested.

"Essentially. But please, _please_ don't call me that," I cringed. I absolutely loathed being called by that name.

"What, Isabella?" he smirked and I rolled my eyes.

"We aren't really starting on calm seas are we, Cullen? Anyway, remain in my good books - call me Bella," I said.

"Alright, class. Talk times over. Let's get down to some serious business, now. So what do we know about the powerhouse of the cell- the mitochondrion?" the teacher began and I groaned. I'd done this before.

I tried to remain stealthy and slowly remained my copy of The Art of Deception.

I heard _Mr. Sensational _chuckle softly. I smiled and turned to him.

"What?" I whispered.

"You're reading books about hacking?" he smirked and I swear he smirked more than he spoke.

"Uh, yea. So?" I asked, confused.

_Um, B, I don't think that HE understands your fascination with computers. Neither do I for that matter._

And I suddenly had this weird feeling you have when you know something big is on the way. And you wait and wait and wait. But nothing significant happens.

I don't really know why I had that feeling. But the big thing here was I was sure Nellie would begin to agree with every damn thing Edward said. Starting right this instant. Indefinitely.

"Yea, well. I love that stuff. And hacking is my passion. So yeah. That's why I have this."

"That…that's something different," Edward blinked and I shrugged, turning back to the guy who was still droning about mitochondria.

"What can I say, Cullen? I'm something different too."

-0-

"So how was first day, Bella? Are you liking this place?" some Lauren chick asked as we were leaving. More like demanded.

_Wow, there's no need to show so much concern, bitch._

I swear Nellie read people better than I did.

"Yeah sure. It's great," I replied, the greater part of my attention focused on solving the Mystery of the Missing Hottie. Yes, _Senor Sensacional _had disappeared once again.

_You've lost it, Bella._

And I was starting to wonder that maybe, just maybe, Nellie was right.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Eric Yorkie called out while walking up to his…yea, whatever that thing was, in the parking lot.

And that's when I saw all the Cullens' and Hales' getting into a silver Volvo and Emmett and Rosalie getting into a red BMW convertible. I let out a low whistle.

"You're drooling at their cars? When you have..._that_?" Mike asked incredulously, looking reverently at my Jag.

"Well good cars are good cars, Mike," I shrugged and made my way to my Jag. I thought of something then and turned around to see, and just like I had expected, Michael Newton was still staring at my ass.

"Not that I expect you to understand."

-0-

"So I put my hands up, they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away. Nodding my head like yeah. Moving my hips like yeah..."

_Seriously Bella? Miley Cyrus? I just had to be _your _better half, didn't I?_

"So I happen to like Party in the USA. Sue me," I said, rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and glaring at the tiles in front of me, imagining Nellie's smug face.

"Bella?" Dad's voice resonated in the house.

"I'm in the shower dad. I'll be out in 5," I hollered back.

"Alright. I'll just stick here, being the good father and you can take all your time bathing. It's no problem at all Bells. It doesn't matter that I'm so tired after work. I'll just cook food," Charlie said mock-pouting-ly and I giggled.

"I'll be right out dad," I said and he sighed theatrically, loud enough for me to hear.

Once I was all done, I realized that dad was busy boiling macaroni.

"Need a hand?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.

Dad looked at me for a moment, ladle suspended mid-air and eyebrow disappearing into his hair. "What did you just say?"

I shook my head slowly. "You're a mean person, daddy."

"Bella, don't you remember what happened the last time you helped me in the kitchen?" he asked, laughing.

I was frowning at him. "It's kinda hard to forget when almost you burn the kitchen down to the ground, father."

"There you go, kid. That's why I'm just a little hesitant to accept your help."

"I was six," I cried.

"More like ten. Anyways, I'm almost done here. So why don't you go set the table?" Charlie said.

"Yea, alright. I'll do that."

_You're going to be setting the table, Bella? That's new. I don't ever remember you doing anything like this before._

I rolled my eyes at Nellie. Presumptuous bitch. Whatever, Nellie.

"So what? I can't be doing something new?" I muttered to her.

_Um, no. You're like the queen of monotony. Change isn't really your thing, Taco Bella._

I'll never know why she calls me that.

"Um, excuse me, Nellie. I came all the way from Arizona to Washington. I left sunny skies for weepy rains. What bigger change is there to make?" I argued. Nellie just huffed. She always did that when she knew that she'd lost the argument.

"Were you just…did you just talk to yourself?" I heard Charlie say in his I'm-so-damned-freaked-out-by-my-daughter's-behavior voice. I turned to see him looking at me incredulously.

"Um, not really. Food done?" I asked quickly. Diversion attempt number one.

"Yea, almost," he said, shaking his head and heading back into the kitchen. _Your Attempt was Successful. Crisis Averted. I repeat the crisis has been averted._

Damn you Nellie! Can't you just shut it for once? No answer? Ha! Take that Bitch

"Great. I'm starving," I said and as soon as I had laid out the plates, I served myself some of dad's famous, wait for it, mac and cheese.

No seriously, my father made the BEST mac and cheese ever. Obviously it wasn't the only thing he knew how to cook but it was one of my favorites and I just loved him for making it. Plus, I was a vegetarian and seriously, mac and cheese could NOT be made non-vegetarian. Some things you just can't mess with.

"Oh Lord. This is heaven," I moaned and my father laughed.

"You really need to learn to feed yourself, kid."

"Well I have you, dad. And when you're not around I have Chinese take-out," I quipped.

"That's right. Chinese take-out. Healthiest food ever," my father said, mock-praising me.

"You know it, dad" I laughed and ducked quickly as he leaned ahead to ruffle my hair.

In truth, all I was waiting for was tomorrow so I could see _HIM_ again and my day would be just as good as today was.

_Huh. Never thought I'd say this, love. Don't take this the wrong way but I really really need for you to know something. You're a really, really damaged human being._

-0-

"Is it so wrong that I couldn't sleep almost the whole night thinking whether or not you'd come to school today?" I said, an eyebrow raised and my Greek God smiled.

"No it's not. In fact, I didn't sleep at all, last night. I was thinking about you too," Edward said softly, his golden eyes burning into mine with an intensity that scared the living daylights outta me.

_OMG, Bella. He's in it for the long haul. Remember what you read in Cosmo?_

"Now you're just flirting, aren't you?" I accused playfully, my blush giving me away.

_Damn those expanding capillaries!_

Shut up Nellie!

"That depends." Smile gone, smirk back in place.

"On what?"

"Is it working?" he asked, a smug grin gracing his face. I rolled my eyes at the over-used cliché.

"Jessica tells me you and your family don't really mix with the rest of the school? You're a 'closed circuit' apparently. Her words not mine," I added.

"Well the very same Jessica offered me a back-rub and a lap dance in the same week," he said. It hadn't escaped me that he didn't reply to my question. "But yes, my siblings and I prefer to keep to ourselves."

"So why speak to me, then?"

"You…you're different than the others. It's so easy for me to read other people. But you…you're a puzzle to me Bella. An enigma," he said, his eyes boring into mine and a look of frustration set on his face.

"The correct answer was: Bella you're unfailingly hot and I think that I might be falling for you," I frowned at him.

"Bella you're unfailingly hot and I think that I might be falling for you," he said softly, his golden eyes smoldering and sincere.

_He means it, B._

For the first time since I heard her, Nellie was serious - neither sarcastic nor insulting. And that had to mean something, right? She was my conscious, after all. I think.

"Thank you, Edward," I smiled and brought out my phone to distract myself. Mr. Banner - the biology teacher - was definitely not turning up for class today and everybody was engaged in their own thing. Magazines, nail-paints, playing cards and phones.

I was just planning on texting Lisa. And sneakily glance at Edward through the corners of my eyes.

"You hack." Just a statement. Not a question.

"I used to hack," I amended, turning back to him with a small frown in place. I didn't like people to know that I did, in fact, hack.

Edward misinterpreted my frown. "And you're unhappy you can't hack here? In small, rainy Forks?"

_Careful Bella. You don't want to be stalked by Stalkerward. _

Wait. Is it weird that I kinda wanted to be stalked by Stalkerward?

"No. I gave up hacking. It's wrong," I said truthfully.

"But you miss it." Again he was telling and not asking.

_Wow, pushy much?_

"Edward, look I -"

"No, I'm sorry Bella. That was extremely rude of me. Forgive me, please?" he pleaded and he looked genuinely contrite.

Well since he said please.

"That's ok, Edward. Let's talk about something else," I said lightly.

"Tell me about your mother. She's in Arizona, right?" he said and that hit a mark with me. It was the usual reaction. A lump formed in my throat and I tried to swallow it with no success. The overwhelming guilt that threatened to choke me alive. The pain bottled up in my chest that threatened to overflow through my eyes. The usual.

Edward's face suddenly blurred and I knew my eyes had filled up with the irrational tears that always came with the mention of my mother.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, a horrified expression on his face.

"Edward…I-I have to go. I'll see you around, ok?" I spluttered, getting up from my seat. I was out of the class in record time.

I was almost to my car when I heard her.

"Bella, wait." I turned around to see a petite girl, presumably no more than 5 feet in height. Her skin was pale and like Edward's, her eyes were golden too. She had an anxious expression on her small face and despite myself, I felt sorry for her.

"My brother didn't mean to ask you about that, Bella. He seriously doesn't know. About your mother," she said, patting my arm.

"Your bro - oh you mean Edward?" I asked, shaking my head.

"That's right. He's very sorry, Bella. He asked me to tell you that," she said softly.

"The guy doesn't even know what happened and he's apologizing to me," I asked incredulously.

Alice was nodding vigorously. "He's cares for you, Bella. So much. He's never even made an effort to know anyone before you. You have to believe me Bella- he didn't know," she pleaded and I nodded, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"I'm Alice Cullen, by the way," she chirped, offering me her hand and my head spun at the rapid change of topics.

"Bella Swan," I said grasping her elfin yet firm, cold hand in mine.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard so much about you," she said smiling at me again.

_Geez, why so optimistic?_

And the anti-social, emotionless bitch is back.

"All good I hope," I sniffed.

"Oh yes," she started to say but she was cut off by the bell that rang. It was lunch break.

"I'm just gonna go home, ok? I don't feel too well," I lied and Alice cocked her head to the side watching me curiously. She'd obviously been unconvinced by my lie.

"Alright. I'll just tell Ms. Cope that you aren't feeling that good. I'm sure she'll excuse you. With Charlie and all…" Alice trailed off and I nearly choked.

"You know about that?" I asked in what was I'm sure a bewildered tone.

"I know a lot of things, Bella," Alice answered, her eyes twinkling with barely concealed mirth.

I raised an eyebrow and she laughed, merely shaking her head. She took my hand, squeezing it gently and skipped back to the school building. I stood watching her walk away for a moment.

_Yeah you can have your three-way fantasies about her brother and her and yourself once you get home, Jezebella. Get in the damn car now._

I nodded at Nellie without bothering to answer her and hopped into my car, thinking about Alice Cullen and the poor blood circulation of her hands.

Call it the intuition of a police-man's daughter or whatever freaky explanation you could come up with, but as soon as I rounded up on the corner to my house, I knew something was wrong.

Now I could karate-chop just about anybody, but I also hoped instinctively that it wouldn't come to that. I parked my car and got out sneakily, slowly opening the door to my house. The lights were flipped on in the middle of the day and the feeling that someone else, besides my father, was here grew stronger.

I looked around and quickly went to the kitchen. Thankfully it was just on the counter. It was the weapon of every helpless damsel in almost every tacky horror movie. It was the knife. Dun, dun, dunn.

_You can't be serious even if your life depended on it, can you? Screw you. My life's on the line here, too. So be careful._

"Bella? That you?" I heard a familiar voice say and I dropped the knife in surprise.

"Lisa?"

Lisa entered my view and frowned at the knife at my feet. I picked it up quickly and set it at the table again, rushing forward to hug Lisa.

She hugged me enthusiastically for a second before pulling away rather abruptly.

"Bella I need your help trying to find Vodka. I've been trying to make a Bloody Mary for like, forever. I later realized that there is no type of Bloody Mary without Vodka," she frowned. I laughed and pulled her in again.

Boy, I'd missed her.

* * *

**Leave me some love!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, lovely readers. Bella is going to go through some teen angst in this chapter. You know how we girls get all insecure and scared when we lose control of a situation? Yeah, Bella's not that way. She shuts down. Bella's back-story might be revealed in this. MAYBE!**

**The chapter song is "You drive me Crazy" by Shakin' Stevens. By the end of the chapter, you'll see why I chose this particular song.**

**This chapter is un-beta'd so all mistakes are mine.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, this girl owns Nellie.**

* * *

_You know, baby, when you're in my arms,  
I can feel your loving magic charms  
You drive me crazy, you drive me crazy._

_And when I'm looking in those big blue eyes,_  
_I start a-floating round in paradise,_  
_You drive me crazy, you drive me crazy._  
_ - Shakin'Stevens_

**BPOV**

**Chapter 4**

"You look like shit. Is that the style now?" Lisa smirked as we both stepped outside the house for a smoke.

"I'm just fine, thank you very much," I lied.

"When-eth will thy learn-eth that thou are-eth a sucky liar-eth?" Lisa smirked and I glared at her.

_Seriously B, there is something wrong with this woman. She's freakishly observant and she's stared at your boobs more than once._

Ah, what can I say? I'm a C - cup and Lisa is a breast girl.

"I'm not a sucky liar," I pouted and she just sighed.

"Whatever, Bella," she said, walking back into the living room. When I followed in behind her, she'd already plopped herself on the couch.

"Now, tell me who kicked your puppy."

"I'm fine, Lisa. Nothing happened. Nothing at all," I added for emphasis, my eyes downcast.

"Someone asked about her, didn't they?" Lisa said softly. "Renee, I mean."

_See?_

I sighed. "Yep."

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked carefully and I could feel myself going into lockdown.

"Lisa, look…"

"Don't worry Bella. I get it. It's alright," she said. She offered me her cigarette with an apologetic smile and I shook my head.

"I'm good, thank you," I said and smiled.

"You're declining a drag? I never thought I'd live to see the day," she smirked.

_Now, she's grating on my nerves._

I scowled at her. "Screw you."

"If I wasn't straight, honey, I would... I'd ravage you right here, right now," she said. "But being as I'm not, I'm gonna have to pass."

"Yeah, well. Your loss, I guess," I shrugged.

"Fine. Deflect. Don't tell me. But remember that I know you," Lisa huffed and I sighed.

"There's this guy…" I said vaguely and Lisa's ears perked up faster than Tom's did when he heard Jerry.

_Did I mention lately that you are the world's worst analogy giver?_

"Who is this guy? Is he cute or hot? Is he a senior? Oh my God is he like, into you?" she went on and I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Let's see. His name is Edward. Yes. No. And I hope as hell he's into me."

"Bella…did he ask about Renee?" her voice trailed off, her eyes alight with sadness.

"Yeah. It was him. He didn't know…about her, I mean. He just casually asked me about her and I freaked. No big deal. His sister caught up to me just as I was leaving and she said that Edward was really upset about that and that's all."

Lisa was quiet for a long time, after that. She stared into space and it was so quiet that I was lost in my thoughts too. A memory came to me and I gasped.

_The six year old sat at the table, thinking hard about the most fascinating thing that she had ever seen –Barbie and Ken dancing in a ball on Cartoon Network – while her mother flitted around the kitchen fixing the little girl's breakfast._

"_Mom?"_

"_Hmm."_

"_Who will I marry?" she wondered out loud._

"_What was that, baby girl?" her mother choked out, shocked at the random nature of the question._

"_We saw Barbie and Ken last night, remember? So I was just thinking who'd be the guy to marry me," the girl said, her finger scratching her chin in a movement that was so eerily like her fathers' that her mother was stunned for a second. _

_Then the moment passed and her mother was left to answer her little one._

_She sat down beside her and took the little girl's hands into her own. With all seriousness, she looked into her daughter's eyes and said, "When you're older- much, much older- there will be a boy who will love you like mommy and daddy love you. Not more than us but close. And then he will ask your father if it would be fine if he married you and _if_ your father were to say yes then he would ask you. And if you say yes too, then you'd be married to him and have his pretty little babies and live happily ever after."_

_ The little girl frowned and her mother struggled a little. To tell or not to tell, that was the question. _

_ Eventually she sighed and said, "But if you were to love another girl that would be okay too."_

_ The girls jaw dropped and her eyebrows disappeared into her hair-line. A second later, a blush spread across her face and she giggled shyly._

_ "I love you mommy but I really, really like boys."_

My eyes filled and I blinked rapidly.I felt my features harden and I took a deep breath.

"I need a drink. You game?" My voice felt cold and detached, even to my own ears.

"This is how you're going to deal with your mother's...with this situation? By drinking? Bella you really need to get a grip -"

"So you're not coming with me then?"

Lisa frowned at me for one more second before she shook her head.

"I'll see you around."

-0-

_Driving all the way to Port Angeles just for a drink, Bella? Have you effing lost your nuts?_

"Never quite had 'em to begin with Nellie," I smirked.

_Very funny, Chuckles. Good to know you have some joy left in you after all._

"One Screw Driver, please," I told the bartender, whose eyes narrowed suspiciously at me.

"May I see some ID, ma'am?"

I rolled my eyes and slipped him a hundred. "There's no need for ID now, is there sugar?"

"Absolutely not sénorita," the guy beamed. "This one's on the _hoose_."

_On the house, butthole._

"Hey darling," a voice said and I turned to see a guy – man – sit beside me and I resisted the urge to gag. The guy smelled like stale beer and sweat.

"Hey sweetheart," I answered back, giving him my best smile.

"You know, we're both here for the same thing," he smiled flirtatiously. His speech slurred. He was so wasted.

"Of course, munch kin. Let's go pick up some girls," I smiled back and the man's expression fell immediately.

"I'll be right back," he muttered, literally jumping out of his seat and I stifled a giggle.

"That wasn't very nice."

_Oh my God. Was that Edward?_

No, no, no. I'm drunk. Kind of. It can't be Edward. No way.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that it is, indeed, me?" The Voice said again and I gulped. Had I said that out loud?

"Yes, Bella. Turn around. Look at me," Edward – yes I accepted that it was him – coaxed and I sighed. Turning around slowly, I saw him standing right behind me with a shit-eating grin on his ridiculously hot face.

"What are you doing here?" I snapped.

"I can't drink?" Edward was amused. _Amused!_

I sighed. It was a crying shame I couldn't be rude to the guy without feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry. I just -"

"It's quite alright. And I'm sorry too. I didn't know about your mother and I…I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?" he pleaded and I melted at the look on his face. I nodded quietly and continued to look into the shimmering golden eyes that were so beautiful it made me wanna hold this man and scream out to the entire world that he was mine.

_Except…he isn't yours, sweetie._

I know he isn't. Not yet.

He continued to gaze at me in wonder; I couldn't comprehend the look on his face. No one had ever looked at me like _that_.

"What is it?" Edward asked quietly.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"How am I looking at you, Bella?"

"I don't really know. Like…" I struggled to find the words – to name the emotion on his face. I was completely out of my depth here.

"Like I absolutely adore you?"

"Yes," I whispered breathlessly. "Like that."

"Because I do, Bella," he breathed. "Because I do."

"You've known me for what, two days? How is it even possible that –"

"Shh. Dance with me?" he whispered and really, who was I to refuse such a pretty face?

_Do not dance with him. Bella, no._

What the- why?

_Do not dance with –_

Oh fuck you, Nellie.

I got up slowly, took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor.

"Is it true that people with cold hands have warm hearts?"

Yes, I was flirting shamelessly.

No, I didn't care what Nellie thought.

"I don't know, Bella. You tell me," he smiled and I smiled back.

His hands finally settled on my waist and Nellie screamed bloody murder.

_Mayday, mayday! We are going down. Do you hear that Houston? We are going down!_

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my hands around his neck. He smiled sweetly and I almost stumbled.

"What brought this on?" I asked, amazed at the control he had on me.

_This is not good, Bella. Really, really not good._

"Bella, I'd really like to get to know you. And if dancing with you in one of the most shadiest bars in Port Angeles is the way to go, then I'm ready to do it."

"Why?" I whispered.

"It doesn't matter why. Just dance with me," he murmured and twirled me around.

-0-

* * *

**Aww, don't we love Sweetward? And…what's with Nellie?**

**Ridiculously short chapter, I know, but I'm trying to give you updates every week so please bear with me. The next one will be longer, I promise.**

**Also, I've started writing for PTB's Writing Challenge 2013 and I've written an entry too. Check it out on my profile!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello my lovelies! Is it only me or did this week feel extraordinarily long?! Anyway, I really need to know if anyone's still reading this story. Coz all this silence isn't reassuring, people.**

_**puglover770**_** : Lisa is Bella's best friend. She's a year older than Bella and so, since she's eighteen, was legal guardian to Bella from the time Bella's mother died to the time she's come to Forks. Of course, there's another story there…and it will be explained soon, I swear. I hope that solves all problems**

**My beta, DayDreamDreamer, is going to unavailable for some time now. She's going to undergo surgery and if you are so inclined, please keep her in your prayers. Meanwhile, I'm going to desperately need a beta. So if any of you are experienced or know someone who is, please PM me! **

**Chapter song is Troublemaker by Olly Murs **

**Disclaimer: SM owns everything but the plot. And Nellie. That bitch is mine!**

* * *

_It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind__  
I see a silhouette every time I close my eyes__  
There must be poison in those finger tips of yours__  
Cos I keep comin' back again for more_

_Trouble Troublemaker yeah  
That's your middle name__  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain__  
And I wanna know__  
Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad__  
My mind keeps saying__  
Run as fast as you can__  
I say I'm done but then pull me back__  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack__  
Troublemaker_

_ -Olly Murs_

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

It was early. Way to early for my liking. I could literally drop Lisa off at the airport and then go home, pick up my bag and head to school. So that's what I planned on doing. So here I was at the airport, waving Lisa off.

"You could stay here, Li. I know for a fact that Charlie wouldn't mind. I'll even let you use my body-wash!", I begged.

Lisa merely laughed and shook her head.

"Bella you need to get back home. Charlie is down with a fever, remember? You don't want him to get anymore sick. Stay with him and I promise I'll call you soon."

I bowed my head and sighed. She was right. Charlie had indeed shown symptoms of flu and I'd be damned if he complained of feeling worse when I got home.

_Don't let her go. Please, don't let her go._

Nellie was sobbing. SOBBING. I could almost imagine her on her knees, clinging on to one of Lisa's legs, refusing to let go. And then Lisa would (under my stern instructions) kick Nellie away and laugh heartlessly.

_You are officially a uber-bitch._

Nell, I think it's 'an uber-bitch.'

_ No its not. It's really not._

"Seriously. Come back whenever you can. Promise me?" I said.

"I promise. Now I really gotta go. Keep in touch B. Love ya," she smiled and hugged me.

I drove quickly, probably running a few red lights and I remembered that my father was the Sheriff of the neighboring town. My foot slightly eased of the gas and then I shrugged, returning to my speed of a teensy bit more than eighty miles an hour.

What my father doesn't know wouldn't hurt him right?

_Oh yea baby. Ride me faster. Just like that. _

God, Nellie? What is wrong with you.

_Oh my God Bella. I was speaking for your car. Get your mind out of the gutter, perv._

Yea right.

But when I got home, Charlie was AWOL. I flew into a blind panic and ran to check each and every room of the house but dad wasn't here.

My fingers trembled as I tried to call for help but I was clueless as to who to call. Finally, I found Billy Black's number and was about to call him when the man in question walked through my door with Charlie in tow behind him.

"What the- Dad are you alright?" I asked as I helped him onto the couch.

"I'm fine, kiddo. I'm your old man, sure, but I'm not that old. It's just a little temperature. You need to go to school," he said sternly. Or, tried to atleast.

"Dad, you don't look good. I should -"

Billy cut me off immediately.

"That's what I'm here for. Go to school, Bells. I'll take care of him."

I nodded slowly and went upstairs to get my bag.

When I came back down, Charlie and Billy were laughing over _Full House._

"This shit still plays?" I asked aloud, forgetting about Charlie's most important rules in the house.

No swearing unless there is horde of zombies outside our door.

"Bella…I can't see the undead knocking on our door for some sugar, baby."

"Uh, yea. Sorry, pops. I'll just go now. You take care," I said and went over to kiss his forehead. "Billy please call me in case you need anything. Dad has my number and I'll make sure I -"

"I got it kid. Go to school."

-0-

I parked my car in the parking lot and got out of my car to see Edward walk towards me with a small smile.

"Hello," he said softly, running the back of his hand down the side of my face.

_Bella, please ask him to stop this. There is something wrong here. Please just trust me._

Nellie's voice was laced with desperation and I felt just a little uncomfortable. Nellie had always been the fun-loving, sarcastic and un-serious one of the two of us. She didn't ever give a shit about what I was doing.

Naturally, I felt a tad bit weird when she was so desperate. Theoretically speaking, she was my conscious after all. And so I took a casual step back, said action causing Edward to furrow his forehead in confusion.

There was a weird, highly unpleasant feeling in my stomach as I looked into Edward's eyes. There was definitely hurt there. But we couldn't have that, could we?

"Hi Edward," I smiled brightly. It sounded forced and fake, even to me. "How was your night? You sleep well?"

"I, uh…it was fine. How about yourself?"

"All well, thank you. Shall we go to class? What do you have now?" I asked and took his hand as I led him to the school building. From the corner of my eye, I saw him glance at our entwined fingers and smile.

"I have Calculus. And if I'm not mistaken, then you have English." The smirk I absolutely loved was back.

_ Loved? _

I ignored Nellie, choosing to deal with her when the guy I wanted in my pants wasn't close by.

_ IN YOUR PANTS?_

"I'm not even going to ask how you know my schedule," I smirked. "But I'll see you around right?" I added, unable to resist.

_ You are so going to regret this. I'm going to give you some disciplinary spanking!_

"Actually you will. We, uh, my family. They wanna meet you."

_ Uh, what? No way, Bee._

"Your family wants to meet me? Isn't that like, really early? We haven't even had our first kiss. For all you know I'm a terribly bad kisser," I winked to hide A) my surprise and B) the possibility of a coronary.

"That's true. Maybe you are," he grinned. But then his expression changed. And intensified. His sexy words came out of his sexier mouth in the sexiest murmur. "But then, maybe, just maybe, you're not. And then you'll realize that you're supposed to be with me. And everything will be perfect."

I looked down at my feet and I could feel my blush. Edward gave out a low chuckle.

_ Walk away while you still can._

"I have to go. Um, we'll speak later ok? About your, um, family thingy."

"Of course, Bella. Take care."

I ran towards the English building but standing in front of me was – who else? – Ms. Cope. I rolled my eyes when I saw that her eyes were worried.

"Bella, sweetheart? Is Charlie ok? I could go to your house right now and make him some soup. If that's ok with you, obviously."

"How did you…never mind, Ms. Cope. Charlie has his friend Billy over. He'll be fine and they'll call me if they need anything," I said and patted her hand awkwardly.

"Still Bella…I don't trust your father's health in the hands of a man who is a stranger to me. You'll see that when it comes to your father, I'm a very loving nurturer," she said, seemingly satisfied with herself.

_ Ok I'm done playing good cop._

"Loving nurturer, huh?" I repeated, unable to control myself.

"Uh huh."

"Oh this is actually very weird ma'am. Because I distinctly remember my father saying that when it came to him, you were a delusional stalker," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

Ms. Cope was surprised. She blinked at me, once, twice, and then rearranged her features quickly.

"Potato, potahto, dear," she waved me off and I knew I was dismissed.

I nodded awkwardly and all but ran towards Mr. Mason's class. He rolled his eyes as I entered but my mind was far too occupied to mind.

The bell rang suddenly and I lifted my head, shocked at how fast the time flew by. I picked up my books in a daze not even hearing what Newton was saying. When I actually felt guilty about it and gave him my attention all I could hear were the words 'date' and 'romantic comedy' and 'alone'. My guilt dissipated immediately.

I walked like a zombie towards Government and saw Edward sitting with his sister Alice, towards the far end. Their heads were close together and they were whisper-yelling at each other.

No sooner than I stepped into their line of sight did they both snap up their heads together, looking right at me. Weird.

Alice smiled and skipped over to me.

"I'm not going to offer to sit with you 'coz I know you'd be weirded out. So I just came over to say hi. Edward says hi, too," she smiled and I genuinely worried for the mental health of the girl. She was a cute looking thing and the blond guy with her was such a hottie. It would be such a waste if she had to be institutionalized…

Alice gave out a long peeling laugh and shook her head. "I'm not crazy I swear."

_ How the f did she know?_

At her words, Edward's head snapped up and he glared at her. But there was absolutely no way he could have heard her. Like I said – weird.

"Um, I wasn't thinking like that," I lied, ducking my head and inspecting my pumps.

"Yea sure, Bella. I'm gonna go now. I'm kinda ditching English. I'll see you tonight," she pecked my cheek and skipped out of class.

_ That was…weird._

Yea tell me about it.

Class started just as I took my seat and for the entire lecture, I could feel Edward's gaze burning a hole in my back. I shifted and squirmed and even turned more than once to look at what he was up to but nothing seemed to faze him. He continued to stare at me, his gaze unflinching. And tender. So, so tender.

_ Ok this is getting weird. And you, Bella, are going all emo._

As soon as class was over, I picked up my bag and ran off, running right smack into the broad, muscular chest of…someone.

_ Not one more of these yellow-eyed freaks!_

But I didn't just smack my face into his chest, not really. Instead he was holding me a foot away from him with his hands on my upper-arms. And I knew it was a 'he' cause there were no boobs here. But I hadn't seen his face yet. So I looked up and indeed, it was one more of Nellie's '_yellow-eyed freaks_'. It was Emmett Cullen.

"Uh, I'm sorry. I, uh, I'll just watch where I'm going," I stammered and he smiled. That cheeky, dimpled grin of his made me smile back. His grin widened.

"So you're Bella huh?" he grinned cheekily.

"How did you know?" I asked, my eye-brow raised automatically.

It was a reflexive reaction. Nothing deliberate, I swear.

"Well my brother is looking at you like he wants to lay one on you- which is true, by the way- and my sister was hysterical with happiness because you're apparently getting along well with everyone in the house. So yeah. That's how I know," he smirked.

_ What's with all the smirking in their family?_

"You're brother hasn't even known me for an entire week and your sister is just…something else entirely. I don't really understand you people," I admitted.

"Maybe you could just come-over to our place tonight and we'll help you understand us better?" he pleaded sweetly and he pouted. _He fucking pouted_! and I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. This was an old trick. Very cliché but I was a sucker for pouty lips.

"Look I don't even know you…" I started.

"We aren't serial killers, Bella. You can ask your father too. My father is a doctor for fucks' sake. Please Bella," he pleaded again and I sighed.

It wasn't a sigh of irritation or exasperation. It was a sigh of surrender.

-0-

"You want me to what?" I screamed and jumped off the Cullen couch faster than you could say 'zombie.'

_ No effing way!_

"Look it's no big deal, Bella. A lot of these web-sites contain information about us that could compromise our privacy. Not to mention that we would be at risk. We're only just asking you to help us delete this data," Jasper rolled his eyes.

_ Are you nuts? No way. You know what would happen if Charlie were to know? He'd ground you until you were thirty-five. THIRTY FIVE!_

"I had made it very clear to wannabe Romeo here," I nodded at Edward, "that I do not hack or do any type of cyber-illegalish work anymore. And that hasn't changed since- I don't know- yesterday!" I said and rubbed my temple. These freaks were giving me a headache.

"But our privacy…"Alice started and I cut her off with a glare.

"Your privacy? _Your privacy!_ Who are you, huh? The President? Hmm?" I demanded.

"You're good at what you do. We've done some research about you. You hacked into Prada once and diverted their shipment to Arizona when your friend wanted those sunglasses. And you were what? Fifteen! You're good, Bella. Really good," Edward said nonchalantly as if he weren't speaking of something that would book my ass in juvie.

At his words, all the breath left my body in a second. And I felt absolutely exhausted.

"That's what you've been doing? Research on me? That's why you…"I trailed off. And heaven couldn't tell me why it felt like I'd been kicked in my gut.

Edward's eyes widened and he jumped off the chair too, taking my hands in his cold yet gentle ones.

"No no no, sweetheart." _Why does that sound so good?_ "I just know some things. I wasn't researching anything serious. That would be Jasper," he smiled and I cracked one for his benefit too.

Then I remembered why I was in their eerily, mysteriously, creepily, everything-ily fantastic house. Because they wanted me to hack for them. Great!

"As much as I would love to do this for your - "

"I'll pay you as much as you want for every website you clean for me."

Just like in the movies, I turned towards the source of the sound. Slowly, slowly. Looking down, the first thing I saw were his black shoes. Italian leather.

Number two: his trousers. Something designer definitely! I skipped over his crotch quickly because seriously, I'm not so shallow as to stare at the crotch of a man who was willing to offer me a thousand–

_ Focus Bella!_

I braced myself for impact as I saw his neck. His jaw was relaxed. Lips pulled lazily in an amused smile. Straight nose, reminding me of Michaelangelo's David.

_ No, bitch. That would be Edward!_

True, Nell.

And then I finally, _finally, _reached his face.

And that's when I fainted.

* * *

**So girls (or boys)... tell me. Is it "an uber bitch" or "a uber bitch"? Coz I truly have no effing idea.**


	6. Chapter 6

**You guys, you guys, you guyssss. You are so damned amazing, it makes me wanna cry. Some of your theories are so much better than what I've written that I'm amazed! Each and every review, favorite and follow makes me smile.**

**Now some of you raised concerns about:**

**a) How Lisa left school and came to Forks.**

_**This will be explained – by Lisa herself – in the upcoming chapters. **_

**b) How Lisa entered Bella's house.**

_**This chick – Lisa, I mean – breaks into computers that aren't meant to be broken into. Picking a lock isn't that big a deal, is it?**_

_**Not that I know anything about it *looking guiltily at the floor***_

**As an author, I try my very best to include as many conversations as I can – as inconsequential as they may be. However, if I included- really included- all of them, Diamonds in the Rough would go on foreverrrrr. So, many gaps would be found and leaps. They've been left open so as to let readers assume whatever they may.**

**Also, I'd like to "formally" welcome muffinmom (Ana) to the DITR team. She's graciously agreed to work with me as Pre-Reader and correct my hideous grammar. Thank you, ma'am **

**Happy reading and have an awesome weekend!**

* * *

_And when I touch you I feel happy, inside._

_It's such a feeling that my love, I can't hide. _

_I can't hide, I can't hide._

_Yeah you, got that something,_

_I think you'll understand._

_When I feel that something,_

_I wanna to hold your hand…_

_-The Beatles_

**Chapter 6**

**BPOV**

"We've killed her."

"She isn't dead Edward," a firm voice declared.

_ Good to know!_

"Then why isn't she waking up?" Edward challenged.

"Because she's in shock…Edward, stop over-reacting," the voice said again.

_ Carlisle. The voice is Carlisle Cullen._

On hearing Nellie again in my head, I groaned and accidently alerted the Cullens of my revival.

_ Oops!_

"My God, Bella. You scared me to death, sweetheart," I heard Edward say and a split second later I was engulfed in his cool, gentle embrace. And he smelled _ama_zing!

"Which is funny, right? 'Cause we're all already -"

"Emmett!" Sounds like the whole family was in on that one. I groaned again and attempted to open my eyes.

The first thing I saw was the collar of Edward's shirt. It was the same one I'd noticed as I passed out. Which meant it was the very same day.

_Whew! Sweet relief, Bella,_ Nellie mocked.

"I'll do it," I murmured and Edward pulled away to look into my eyes in confusion.

"What did you just say?"

"I said I'll do it. The hacking thing. I'll do it for you. Look, I'm not stupid enough to trust you already. But on the other hand, I can't doubt you either. I mean, you haven't killed me yet, or whatever. So I'm hoping you're not mad scientists or some type of a serial killer family. And I think I'll do this thing for you. But I have a condition." I said firmly.

_I'm giving you the silent treatment Bella. And it starts now. I mean after this. So yeah. Bye!_

Oh joy. I'd been waiting for the silent treatment from Nellie for years.

"Anything, Bella. Just say the words," Goldilocks spoke for the first time. "And I'm Rosalie by the way."

"You will not pay me anything," I said. "And I know who you are, by the way."

"But Be -"

"Nope. If I'm risking prison-time and doing this for you, then the least you can do is listen to what I want, Dr. Cullen."

"I understand, kid. But I know Charklie and he will want you to start working soon. We'll work out an arrangement and you can decide how much you would work for. But don't refuse. Please," he pleaded.

I closed my eyes at his logic.

"Fine. We'll work that out later. So do you have a list of the sites where your name appears?"

"Uh, yea. About that…" Edward stammered nervously and I groaned, burying my head in his chest.

-0-

Turns out the Cullens had more than _just_ a list of all the websites that they appeared in. They had two friggin' registers full. Even if I took care of ten or twelve websites a day (which wasn't really practical at all) it would still take me at least four months to complete them all.

"We can start tomorrow, right?" I asked and Edward nodded, smiling softly. The arrangement worked for everybody. I'd tell Charlie that I'd taken up a part time job assisting Esme Cullen with her design work and that she needed my help four times a week. According to Carlisle - as he now insisted I call him - Charlie wouldn't mind in the least and I'd be free to hack in peace. of course as I thought about this new development, the idea of piles of pending homework popped into my head and I rolled my eyes.

"Ok. Should I pick you up after school or…?" Edward trailed off. Did he even know that his voice dripped sex even when he didn't speak about…well, sex?

"I'd like that," I blushed.

"It's a done deal then. I'm picking you up from your house too, tomorrow morning and then after you're done here, I'll drop you home," he said seriously.

"Wow. Are you always so bossy?" I frowned.

"Most of the time, yes," he nodded.

"Well, I don't need to be your little bitch, do I? You're not my boss. Your father is," I smirked right back. Take that, Cullen.

"What? Of course that's not what I want, Bella. I want to be your friend. That's all," he said, his shoe digging into the lush carpet.

"Yea sure. You look like it, Edward. And you sure as hell act like it," I laughed and he looked up at me, chuckling.

"Now take me home, mister."

"Yes, ma'am."

-0-

And so it began. My supposedly monotonous life – that had lasted for a whole two days – was suddenly exciting. The mysterious and undoubtedly hot guy I was crushing on was always sitting close to me while I worked at his house.

_Oh yeah! That's so damn cool. Ooh…Blah Bella!_

Huh. Nellie's 'silent treatment' had only lasted three hours. Fortunately, it was only after Edward had taken me home that she had chosen to make her devilish existence known.

_Remember his maniacal driving?_

Oh hell yes! His driving was phenomenal. Not. It had amused me when he asked – politely of course – if I'd do him the great honor of letting him drive my car back to my house. And like the equally polite lady that I was…

_LOLZ!_

…I let him. Of course, calling him an 'asshole' and a 'moron' and the inevitable 'mother-fucker' erased my turn-of-the-century gentlewoman image. But he was kind enough only to laugh whenever I yelled at him. But in my defense, I was pretty sure I was going to end up as a Jaguar pretzel around a tree.

_ Huh?_

Anyway…so here I was, back at the Cullen cave, going back to what I had been doing for two and a half hours daily…for the past week.

"How long until you actually do something?" Emmett asked irritably.

"Ten minutes," I replied calmly.

"You said that half an hour ago," he whined.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Arranging my features into a stern expression I turned to him and merely lifted my eyebrows. He sighed and looked away, muttering under his breath.

I'd apparently been irritating him by doing nothing. Although I wasn't really doing nothing.

"I'm studying algorithms for firewalls. I need to have a general hold on 'em before I actually dig in, buddy. Think of it as a pre-launch prep," I told Emmett who blinked at me.

"You lost me at algorithms."

"Just let the lady work, Emmett," Rosalie said almost lazily.

"But that's the problem, babe. She isn't working."

I began to smile but it fell immediately. I watched in horror as Rosalie walked up to Emmett, spun his swivel-y chair around and planted one on him.

Their kiss quickly degraded to more than PG-13 and Esme cleared her throat. They disentangled themselves and looked away awkwardly.

"Oh my God," I breathed and sunk deeper into my chair. I could feel my chest fall down with rapid breaths and I knew I was almost hyperventilating but there wasn't shit I could do.

"You…siblings…kiss…oh, God!" I moaned and let my head fall into my hands.

"Bella, sweetheart? It's ok. Let me explain. Look at me," Esme cooed and I looked up to see her smiling gently at me.

"Come here," she said and took my hand in her icy cold one, leading me to the living room couch.

"Where to begin? You see, all my children aren't biologically related. Of course we stay together but that's because Carlisle and I have adopted all of them. They aren't related by blood, Bella," she smiled kindly.

"Yeah right. I know I shouldn't be so nosy -"

"Oh it's quite alright Bella. You can't imagine the amount of gossip these four cause just because they can't keep their hands off each other. Once they graduate, they'll leave of course. Have a life of their own," she said and smiled again.

_She doesn't really look as disappointed as she should at the thought of their leaving, does she?_

Nellie was right, obviously but I ignored her. This was their family business. And I'd be getting the scoop on them soon anyway.

"Thank you, Esme. You didn't have to share this with me but you did. And I'm glad."

"Don't worry about it, dear. Trust me – with the way people look at my kids sometimes – I'd love to put up billboards all around town, explaining to everyone what I just explained to you. It would make me feel much better if the people in Forks knew that what my children are doing is completely legal," she laughed and shook her head. The love and concern she obviously had for her children warmed my heart.

And in that moment, in a completely platonic way, I fell in love with Esme Cullen.

-0-

Learning hacking was completely by accident. Lisa was a year older than me and I'd caught her tapping away on my computer to her hearts content a lot of times.

Curiosity killed the cat, they say. No-frikkin-way! Curiosity made Bella ask Lisa what the heck was going on and then it made Lisa wanna explain hacking to Bella so that she could see if she'd follow her footsteps too. She did. She followed them so damn well that it was frightening.

_Bella. Look at that. That's Carlisle Cullen. Bottom left corner of the page. _

I scrolled down to where Nellie was showing me Dr. C's picture. It was the website of a hospital in London, the page showing all of their previous and present employees.

"How's the hacking going?" Edward murmured behind me and I gasped and turned around to find him smirking at me.

"You weren't here a second ago," I whispered.

"I was right behind you for the last five minutes, Bella. My patience ran thin though," he said and smiled crookedly.

_I don't like this but hell, that guy's got one hell of a panty-wetting smile._

"The SSL encryption was a little tough to figure out and it took me forever to crack that. I'm behind a Pix Firewall Emulator, so I'm safe. But the server keeps detecting an intrusion and I'm playing with it," I grinned.

"I didn't get a word of what you said…but I'm very glad you're enjoying your work."

"Thanks," I said, my attention already diverted. The server had detected my presence yet again.

"I'll leave you to it," Edward sighed and I nodded vaguely. Surprisingly, I didn't see him again for the rest of the day.

Fourteen minutes, five curse words to the mainframe and eight curse words to the programmer later, no doctor by the name of Carlisle Cullen had ever worked in the hospital.

It went on like this for quite some time. Many web sites gave me trouble but none that I couldn't overcome. I had a dirty habit, though. It was completely unprofessional but I was hooked.

I decided to keep records of everything I cracked on a flash drive. The original copies before the, uh, improvisations. They might be useful. Maybe.

That night when I went home, I connected my flash drive to my computer and scrolled through some of the pages I'd hacked into just out of professional curiosity.

_ Yea sure, Betty Butt-in-ski._

There were many schools, I noticed. Of course I was basically writing new codes so I hadn't paid much attention, only glancing over the websites. But this was scary as hell. And also completely impossible.

Alicia Olson and Beth Rodriguez were trying to organize a reunion of the class of 1973 from North Colchester High School in Nova Scotia. There were the list of events, messages from people who had RSVP'd already and those who wouldn't be able to make it. There was also a list with old pictures of people who hadn't been located yet. And among them at the top left of the picture was Edward. _My_ Edward.

My heart beat out of my chest as I scrolled down and read through a few comments.

_Remember Edward Cullen? No one's seen or heard him from him since graduation. I know some women (and men) who'd love to see him at the reunion. If you see him, tell him!_

_ Edward Cullen remains the most swoon-worthy teenager I have ever seen and trust me- I've seen some ;) Somebody find him!_

Class of 1973. It was impossible. Edward was 17, just like me, so there was absolutely no chance he'd been in school at that time. But this was a reunion party for the class of 1973. Neither of us was even born back then.

_That can't be right. Check again!_

I scrolled back up to see the picture again. He looked then just as he looked now. He was smiling but I could tell he didn't mean it.

I shut down my computer quickly and took a deep breath. I wasn't there to do any type of research on them. They were paying me and I had to do what they wanted me to do.

I honestly hoped to avoid being the nosy character that I usually was; I should just get this job done and outta the way. They would never know that I knew some creepy stuff about them. Ever.

_Easier said than done, bitch._

Yeah, Nellie, tell me about it.

-0-

One month had passed and before I knew it, I was done with half the register already. It was quick and I had never been more depressed.

"You don't seem happy to see your burden lessening," Edward murmured, his pinky tracing mine in the school cafeteria.

"I'm not, Edward. You know I've told you about all the fishy things I've seen about your family and you've told me I'm gonna have to figure them out myself. And that's ok, for now. But Edward, the end of this job means that I'm not gonna be able to come over to your house with a legit excuse and that's killing me. You know I don't wanna get rid of you people," I said, my voice taking that whiny tone that both Edward and I hated.

And yeah, I'd told him all I'd seen on the websites. All of it. I'd just recently learnt that I couldn't keep a secret. Whatever.

"Bella, sweetheart, we've been over this. You have all the information you need. This is something you need to do yourself. You can ask any of us anything at all. But maybe you're asking the wrong questions? And as for coming over to our house…you don't need an excuse. Tell your father we're dating or something. That's reason enough, isn't it?"

And yeah Edward had gotten bold lately. But that smirk seemed to be permanently carved on his perfect face and I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, again, we've talked about this. You don't wanna date me. I'm not all I show myself to be…"

"Bella…," Edward warned. He hated when I spoke the truth. About myself, anyway.

"Edward. Accept it. I'm damaged goods."

"Don't ever call yourself that," he growled, his amber eyes alight with anger.

"But I am -" he cut me off again.

"No you're not," he growled again. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and when he'd opened them, they were a soft golden color again. "You're perfect," he added softly and brought my hand to his lips, kissing each fingertip softly.

_Oh my God!_

Nellie had only recently gotten over her aversion with the Cullen family

_That was orgasmic! And that's just your fingers. Imagine when he actually kisses your –_

Definitely over it.

* * *

**As some of you may know, I've started writing for PTB's Writing Challenge 2013. For those of you who don't, refer to the previous sentence :P**

**I'd love some feedback on the entries I have already submitted and I'm waiting for your love on this chapter too!**

**PS- It is indeed 'an uber-bitch.' **

**Question for this week: How many of you Google yourself? How often? Be honest ladies (and gents, if any), I've got my eyes on you *narrows eyes threateningly***


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay this is awkward. How awkward? Very, very awkward. More awkward than the time I singlehandedly ate most of the cake my friend and I had baked for my other friend's birthday and everyone was like, "Who ate the damn cake? Show yourself bitch!"**

**So basically RL got in the way, like majorly, and I got too lazy.**

**If it makes you feel any better, I've written all the way up to Chapter 10 and all the updates WILL be regular from now on. Guide's honor.**

**Again major thanks to Ana for all her patience and advice...she's a real darling to me :)**

**Fun news at the bottom!**

**A quick recap: Bella's been hired by Carlisle to hack into all sites of which a record has been kept where the Cullen name appears. Bella agrees and almost instantly notices that the Cullen name has appeared many-a-times on the internet and that too, from times when they shouldn't even have been born. She ignores these but later tells Edward in the school cafeteria and he tells her that she has everything that she needs and that she only needs to ask the right questions. Moving on…**

* * *

_You must understand how the touch of your hand_

_Makes my pulse react_

_That it's only the thrill of boy meetin' girl_

_Opposites attract_

_It's physical_

_Only logical_

_You must try to ignore that it means more than that_

_Oh oh...what's love got to do, got to do with it?_

_What's love but a second hand emotion?_

_What's love got to do, got to do with it?_

_Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?_

_-Tina Turner_

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

"Bella," a voice called out, gentle and soft, as if it were coming from far, far away. "Bella, Bella, Bella," it called out again and I shifted a little. I was in a sitting position and my cheek was smashed against a cool, smooth surface. I didn't need to be told that I'd done it again. I'd fallen asleep on the computer table in Carlisle's living room. Again.

Cool fingers stroked the back of my neck and I squirmed.

"Wakey wakey Bella," Edward laughed and I replied without opening my eyes.

"I'm not waking up."

"Bella, sweetheart, we have a bed, you know. And you're allowed to use it," Edward snickered and I cracked one eye open and glared at him.

"Yeah I know, Chuckles. Now go away," I growled and he just laughed some more.

"You are awfully stubborn for 6:30 am, aren't you?"

"Go. Away."

"Let me at least take you to my bed and make sweet, sweet love to you."

My eyes snapped open and I sat up straight, gaping at him like a fool.

_Yayayayay!_

The silence continued and suddenly Edward burst into laughter.

_Oh no!_

I glared at him again and got up to my feet, snapping my computer closed. He stepped closer and I took a step back. Forward. Back. Forward. Back.

I frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

"Why are you backing away from me?"

_Damn that smirk! Damn it to hell!_

"I can't entertain this shit at 6:30 am," I yawned and side-stepped him to go up the stairs to the guest room. I could still feel his smirk.

I finished my morning business, changed into running clothes gathered my towel and stuff into a little beach bag and sticking my ear-phones in, I went downstairs where Alice was waiting expectantly for me, a smile the size of Texas on her face.

One weird thing about Alice – she could almost predict what I'd do or say. It was creepy.

But I liked her, loved here even. She had become a very good friend in just a little more than a month.

"Going running?" she smiled.

"Yeah," I offered lamely.

"Ok," she smiled wider and stepped aside, allowing me room to pass.

Second weird thing about Alice – she was so damn perky.

_Honestly, I can't decide which fact's weirder. Or more irritating._

I frowned at Alice for a second and then nodded, patting her back as I made my way outside the house.

The Sol Duc falls were a teenage hang-out. Always was and probably always would be. I'd lost count of the amount of times Charlie had cursed the place to holy hell, claiming that the kids of Forks needed to search for better, less secluded places to hang out at.

_I swear sometimes Charlie annoys the living daylights outta me!_

So Sol Duc was basically where every teen in this place was if they were not at home. Making out, drugs, weed, drinking, you name it and they apparently had done it here. Or so I'd heard. And so – thanks to Google maps, of course – I knew the place and wanted to see what the noise was all about. And what other time to go than now?

I'd always liked running. It saved me the trouble of having to run on a tread-mill and shit. But one more important thing about my running habit– I liked running alone. It gave me the peace of mind I needed desperately. Especially here, in Forks.

_Ha! I hope Edward shows up there. *swoon*_

Heaven knows I'd worn my sexiest bikini inside.

_Sluttiest. You've worn you're sluttiest bikini down under._

-0-

I'd almost reached the waterfall in question, when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey! Is there anybody there? Help! Oh my God, hang on Ben!" the voice yelled and I peeled of my ear-phones, running in the direction of the panicked voice.

Angela Weber was desperately hanging on to Ben Cheney who was a hair breaths' away from drowning in the Sol Duc river.

How in the name of God did they get here?

"Fuck!" I said to myself and throwing my bag aside, ran to help her. But she was so startled at my sudden appearance from seemingly nowhere that she let out a little startled squeak and let go of Ben's hands completely.

I rolled my eyes at her, peeled off my tank top and track pants and kicked off my shoes before jumping into the water.

Ben was out like a light but his head was dangerously close to a submerged rock. I swam faster than I ever remember swimming and caught a hold of his hand, pulling him away from the rock, effectively earning myself a gash on the hand in return. The water around me started to turn red and my stomach lurched.

_Bella, the water's freezing, honey. So GET OUT! _

Right away ma'am!

Getting a good grip on Mr. Cheney, I pulled us both outta the water and towards the shore where Angela was waving at us frantically.

_Why the fuck is she waving? Call her here to help you, you retard. _

I'm fine, Nellie.

_You're hand's bleeding, you ass._

It's also stinging but I'm fine, I snickered to myself.

_Not funny bitch._

"Here we go, Angela," I said as I pulled Ben outta the water. "Here's your baggage."

"Oh thank you, Bella. Thank you so much," she whispered fervently and started to pump Ben's chest.

"Bella!" another panicked voice called out and my head whipped around to the direction of the sound.

It was Edward. I could see him running and in almost no time he pulled me into his arms and it was like being hit by a massive wave. He pulled me in closer to him so hard it was almost painful.

"Oh, dear God, Bella," he cried and his body was trembling.

"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay."

He pulled back just enough so he could see me. One hand ran frantically over my body, my face, checking before coming to rest over my heart. It should have felt wrong in my state of undress, but it felt right.

So right.

He bowed his head, closed his eyes, and pressed his forehead to mine.

"You're alright," he breathed. His arms wound around my waist again.

"Yes. Ben was drowning," I whispered, tracing his face with my fingertips and I could feel his body relax.

He kept me in his embrace for a few more moments and then his body started to tense again. He pulled back abruptly and I took an instinctive step back because of what I saw.

His face was like thunder and I could almost hear his fury crackle and sizzle in the cool wind around us. Wordlessly, he peeled of his own shirt and helped me into it. He then went on to tear a part of my top as I gaped at his bare upper half like an idiot. I kept quiet about my torn tee when his eyes flashed at me. He gingerly tied the piece of torn material around my wounded hand and I remembered with a start that I was injured. I picked up my bag and wrapped my towel around myself, careful of my injured hand.

_There's more than eight packs here. Oh my god, look at that collarbone. It is just waiting to be kissed and licked and sweet Jesus, I think I'm drooling. I'm your conscience but I'm drooling_.

He took my hand and led me to his car that was parked just a few yards away. Angela was already helping a coughing and spluttering Ben into her car and waved at me as we passed.

_Again with the waving._

Edward led me to the passenger seat and I stood still. Edward felt my non-movement and looked back at me with a questioning glance. I shook my head and pointed towards the back-seat.

_I think this is one of those times when you can manage in the passenger seat Bella._

Just be quiet Nell.

Edward helped me into the Volvo – dripping wet and only covered by his shirt and my towel – and we drove to his house in silence.

_ I think he's pissed._

You don't say Nellie.

_Maybe you should say something._

Maybe you should shut up.

"Are you okay, Edward?" I asked softly and then cursed myself in my head when his head snapped up and he looked at me through the mirror, his eyes reflecting his disbelief.

"Am I okay? _Am I okay?!_ Bella have you lost your mind? What were you thinking?" he yelled and I cringed.

"Edward, he was drowning. And I'm bound by conscience to help a drowning man when I can," I said gingerly.

Edward's eyes snapped to me again and his fury was so clear it almost made him look…

_…Inhuman?_

"You can't just jump into a river and try and be the hero, Bella. It's reckless and irresponsible and you should know better."

"Oh my God, Edward. You're not my father and even he doesn't talk with me like –"

"Your father is out for the weekend and he has entrusted Carlisle with your safety," he said formally. He sighed and his eyes melted again. "I'm sorry, Bella. When I saw you coming out of the water, I was so… dear god, terrified doesn't even come close. I came so close to losing you and I can't lose you Bella," he said, his voice crumbling as he squeezed his eyes tight for a second and ran his fingers through his hair.

I turned my head to the other side, looking outside the window. We were quiet the rest of the ride.

_He's seen your bare legs! Edward fuck-me-coz-I'm-hot Cullen has seen your legs!_

At least Edward and I were.

-0-

"Bella, hold on now. We need to treat your hand," Edward said as I made a beeline for the house as soon as he parked his car.

"Uh yea. Boss's inside, isn't he? I'll – "

"I'm right here," Carlisle said and I turned around to see my employer walking towards me with a gentle smile and a doctor's kit. They led me to a little bench and we sat down.

"Boss…can't we do this inside?" I asked skeptically and almost immediately Carlisle's eyes slid to Edward and then to me again. He laughed awkwardly and shrugged.

_What the hell? He's gonna do this here?_

"It was a big cut, Bella. I think it might need to be sutured. Immediately," Edward added unnecessarily and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You're lying. It wasn't a big cut at– motherfucking bitch!" I yelled and tried to pry my hand away from Carlisle who was tugging on the cloth around my hand like a psycho.

"Boss…if you kill me I won't be able to work for you," I pleaded and he looked up and smiled at me before going back to torturing me again.

"Fine. Kill me. See if I care," I said stubbornly and averted my eyes from the bloody mess that was my hand.

"Bella, sugar, look at me," Edward said (and I was amazed that Edward Cullen said 'sugar') but I deliberately turned my head in the other direction. But the other direction was the good ole' doctor and his deranged work on my hand with a needle and thread. So I did the next best thing.

I closed my eyes and started to sing. Loudly.

"My loneliness is killing me…I must confess, I still believe…"

"I still believe," a chorus of voices sang and I snapped my eyes open and squinted at the Cullen household where the Cullen women were grinning maniacally. I grinned wider.

"When I'm not with you I lose my mind…"

"Give me a sign…"

"Hit me baby one more time," we all finished together and I turned again to give them a thumbs up.

"Good going girls," Esme smiled and then shooed the girls inside asking them to complete their chores. I shook my head at the eccentric mother hen and then turned to watch what her equally eccentric rooster was up to.

_Oh my God that was a good one!_ Nellie snickered.

"Are you done Boss?" I asked irritably and the man in question smiled at me.

"Almost done, member of staff. Hold still now. You don't want me to pierce the unharmed parts of your hand with the needle, do you?"

"No, of course not," I murmured to hide my fear.

Your boss is an effing rooster. A crazy, sadistic, doctor rooster.

My phone started ringing from somewhere and I frowned. What a miserable time for my phone to ring.

"That's your phone ringing, isn't it?" Edward wondered and I rolled my eyes at his eyes. They were all shining and exciting and so damn pretty, it made me want to claw them out.

"Just get the damn phone, Edward," I sighed and he ran to the porch where Alice was standing with my phone in her hand. So that's how I heard it. But that would mean that she was already standing there before my phone actually started to ring. And that meant…

_Nothing. It means nothing._

I sighed again as I glanced at the caller ID.

"Bella…sweetie what's this I hear? You jumped into a river?" Charlie asked and I gasped.

_What the hell?_

"How'd you know daddy? I just got back to the Cullen's home…"

"I'm a cop, Bella. I know things."

I waited in patience for the real explanation. He would cave.

And cave he did.

"Mrs. Cheney called. She was hysterical with gratitude. She said Angela saw you go to the Cullens' home with Edward. Now I'm insanely proud of what you did…but you know better than to jump into a river with sharp stones and God knows what inside it. Not to mention, the force of the water alone could have swept you away."

Now I sincerely felt bad for my dad.

_And Edward?_

And Edward. I turned to him but continued to speak to Charlie.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you or anything of the sort. The guy was drowning and Angela was screaming for help. And then I came up behind her and she was so she was startled that she let go of his hands. After that, I just didn't think. I just…I'm sorry. I really am," I said and hoped to hell both the men would be appeased.

Edward smiled at me and nodded, kissing me softly on my forehead.

_One man convinced, one more to go._

"Oh I know sweetheart. Only, the next time you decide to go jumping around in rivers…let me know. You don't want your old man to die of a heart-attack, do you?" he laughed at his own joke as I rolled my eyes.

We spoke for a few more minutes about how his conference was going and how my job with Esme was. I hung up after some time and noticed that I was shivering.

"Let's get you inside," Edward whispered and taking my hand, led me into his house. While walking, I made the most startling revelation of my day:

All this time, Edward had been naked from the waist up and I hadn't ogled him enough.

_ You scum of the earth…you're a waste of precious estrogen, you. Pshh!_

* * *

**So what do you think? Show me the love**

**I've participated in the Paws And Art 2.0 contest and it's an anonymous contest so I can't tell you which entry is mine but all the entries are super amazing and this is literally, my very first story that isn't Edward/Bella so I'd appreciate it if y'all followed the link on my profile and voted for your favorite entries.**

** Voting closes on 1****st**** April so hurry!**

**Oh, and I'm also on twitter: RheaDsouza5 if you're interested in story snippets, announcements, blah blah. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks, as always, to **_**muffinmom**_** for helping me make this look pretty. Chapter song is **_**Time After Time**_** by **_**Cyndi Lauper.**_

* * *

_After my picture fades and darkness has __turned to gray_

_Watching through windows you're wondering_

_If I'm okay_

_Secrets stolen from deep inside__  
__The drum beats out of time_

_If you're lost you can look and you will find me__  
__Time after time__  
__If you fall I will catch you I will be waiting__  
__Time after time_

_ -Cyndi Lauper_

**Chapter 8**

**BPOV**

"Alright, let me get this straight. You wanna throw a party in my _honor_. Only because I saved your pathetic, drowning ass."

"That's right."

"But this party is gonna be at my house."

"Affirmative."

"So I'm gonna have to pay for all the booze and shit?"

"Positive."

"So correct me if I'm wrong but you're gonna _honor _me by making a dent in my wallet."

"That's the plan, yes."

"Fuck you."

"Oh come on, Bella. It's just a party for Christ sake..."

"Don't swear on God's name. I'm a catholic."

"When's the last time you went to Church?"

"Ben?"

"Yea?"

"I take it back. Un-fuck you."

Edward snorted loudly and I bit into my granola bar. Ben whined again but I ignored him. _I_ was willing to throw the party at my place of course, but I had to ask Charlie. After all, it was kinda his house too.

_It is completely his house Bella._

I'm going to ignore you said that, Nellie.

"I've asked Charlie, Bella. You need not hound him. He's gonna be out next week again. We can make this work," Alice chirped and I pretended to bang my head on the table.

Edward laughed again and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"Alice and Angela will take care of everything, sweetheart. I promise. Just say the word …"

"Edwaaard…" I whined.

"Bellaaa…" he whined right back and I sighed, defeated.

"Fine. Just do whatever you want, Alice. Don't bother me with the details," I requested and waited for it.

"Those aren't the magic words, Bella," Alice grinned.

"I'm not saying it, Alice."

"Please," she pouted and I caved to her requests for the second time in the day.

"Go wild, Alice," I sighed and she giggled, all chirpy and bell-like.

"It won't be so bad Bella. And don't even worry about the guest list…"

"Yea… coz we're inviting everybody!" Angela squealed and I cringed.

"Whatever girls."

"Don't 'whatever' my girl, Bella. You need a party. You've been working too hard these days. Come on, you're working on all Sundays too," Jasper grinned and I smirked at him.

_Give it back to his Southern ass, Bella._

"I don't remember you or any of your family people asking me to leave, Jasper."

"Funny. I don't either. Anyway, next week Saturday would be perfect for the party. Right babe?" he turned to Alice and she grinned excitedly.

"I'll start preparing everything starting tomorrow morning. It'll be perfect."

I rolled my eyes and picked up my bag just as the bell rang. Edward followed close behind me.

"Wanna ditch the rest of the day?" he asked and chuckled as I nodded eagerly.

"Where will we go?" I asked.

"It's a special place," he smiled as he dialed the school and prepared to impersonate our fathers' voices perfectly.

-0-

"This place is beautiful…,"I cried, as I looked around.

"So beautiful," Edward agreed softly.

"And everything is so damn pretty here," I cried, bending over to look at the wildflowers.

"Pretty indeed," Edward said again and I whipped around to face him. I threw my arms him and buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you…just thank you for getting me here. This place is just amazing!"

He stood frozen for a second and before I could actually wonder if I had crossed the wrong line, he relaxed. His arms slowly began to rise from where they were hanging by his sides.

I felt his palm on my lower back first. And then, without permission, my breath began to hitch. His arms slowly, gently, moved up my back, where they paused when Edward felt my bra. He traced the clasp with his pinky finger for a second and then he moved both his hands and splayed them across my waist again. The way his hands were was as possessive as it was protective.

The moment felt so intimate that I just had to look into his eyes. I pulled back and gasped again.

_You're doing that a lot, lately._

His eyes were a tender shimmering gold and he glanced at my lips and back into my eyes again. Right then, I knew just what would happen…

He would glance again at my lips and I'd unconsciously glance at his. He'd lean in slowly and I'd lean in too. And then he'd kiss me. And it would be magic. But then things would start going to hell. It would be awkward – big time – because I wouldn't be able to commit to him and he'd be hurt about that and I'd feel like shit over–

"Bella," Edward whispered, softly. Reverently.

"Edward I-"

"Shh," and then his lips brushed against mine.

And it was just like I'd imagined. It was magic.

His lips moved in synchronization with mine and I was moved by the utter _familiarity_ of this. It felt like I knew exactly _how_ to kiss this man. He withdrew a little and I pouted instantly.

"Bella, I…that was…I have no words," he smiled and I smiled too.

_What are you doing Bella?_

I gasped at Nellie's voice and took an automatic step back, breaking out of Edward's arms and startling the fuck out of him too.

_We are going to speak about this._

You bet your skinny, imaginary ass we are.

"Just, uh, let's go home, Edward," I said, averting my eyes and looking anywhere except into his eyes where I was sure to find hurt.

"But Bella I-"

"We should go. It's getting late," I said and started walking in the direction we'd come in from. I heard Edward sigh loudly and then he started to walk beside me too.

To say that the car ride back was awkward would be the biggest understatement ever. You could literally hear the crickets chirping in the Volvo. And what was actually funny was that I was pretty damn sure there were no crickets in Edward's car.

_Yeah. Real funny, Bella._

I'm not speaking to you, Nellie.

_Technically, you are._

Why did you interrupt? Back there in the meadow.

_Why do you think?_

Because you're never truly happy when I am.

_True, but…Bella I think Edward's saying something._

No, he's not.

_Yeah, sorry. False alarm._

"Where do you want to go Bella?" Edward asked and I chanced a look at him. He was frowning but his gaze was fixated on the windshield.

"I wanna go home. _My_ home," I confirmed and Edward's head whipped around to me. He looked at me in disbelief and his eyes widened with hurt before he pulled his hand through his hair and turned back to look out the windshield again.

"Very well."

Edward drove me home and as usual, he came up to my side to get my door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked and I smiled. My jaw actually felt stiff from _not_ smiling.

"Tomorrow's Saturday, Edward. At your place for work?"

"Yes of course. Good night, Bella."

"Good night Edward," I whispered and turned around to go in when he grasped my wrist, rendering me unable to move.

"I wish you'd tell me why you won't let me in…" he murmured, the back of his hand drifting across my cheek.

"I wish you didn't ask," I whispered and pulled away from him, all but running into my house and away from Edward, his sincere eyes and his feelings.

-0-

I was in the middle of a The Transporter marathon when someone knocked at the door. I had a feeling this would happen. I just didn't anticipate it would happen so soon.

_ Just open the damn door._

I sighed and set down my popcorn, moving slowly towards the door. I took a deep breath and opened it and received one of the biggest shocks of my life.

Standing on the other side, a bottle of wine in her hand, was Esme Cullen.

"Esme" I croaked and she smiled, pulling me into a hug and handing me the bottle of wine.

"I thought I shouldn't come empty-handed the first time I came to your house," she laughed and then focused on me. Immediately her smile faltered and her brows furrowed.

"Have you been crying dear?" she asked and pulled me towards my couch. She sat me down and shut off the television.

"I've not been crying," I lied and my composure crumpled. I looked away.

There was a moment of silence while I played with my jeans and she continued to stare at me.

"I was twenty when I married Charles Evans," she said suddenly and I looked up at her in shock. But she continued to stare off into space and spoke softly.

"He was the most ideal husband my parents could find for me at that time and to their greatest delight – and mine – our marriage was amazing. Two years after our marriage, we started to try for a baby. Three months later, I was pregnant. Charles loved our un-born baby. He'd speak to him all the time and he built a nursery for him all by himself…"she trailed off.

"Him? It was a boy then?" I asked curiously.

"It was a boy," she smiled sadly. "We were going to name him Adam. He was the cutest little boy with those sapphire eyes and he was the apple of his father's. Not for long, though...Baby Adam was diagnosed with pneumonia and he was too little for the doctors to save. They did the best they could but…"she shook her head and turned to me sadly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry Esme."

"Listen, dear. After that my perfect marriage to Charles fell apart. He became an alcoholic and started to blame me for his son's death. I felt guilty of course but Charles' accusations drove me over the edge. I became suicidal…"

I gasped but she continued. "I jumped off a cliff and by the time someone found me, I was almost dead. But they still took me to a hospital and that's where Carlisle was the attending doctor. He saved me in more ways than one and I've never looked back."

We were both sitting in silence when she took my hand in both of hers.

"We're like dust in the wind, Bella. We have very limited time on this earth. Like, I said: dust in the wind. I didn't come here to tell you to do something about your Edward situation because I know there's something that's cooking there. You're both responsible young children. You can find a way. I'm here to tell you to forgive yourself, Bella. I don't know what happened to you, but I can see you're living in guilt. And I can see it because I've lived in guilt too. And I know the signs. And I'm here because I want you to feel better."

"Thank you, Esme," I whispered softly and she pulled me into her embrace. It felt like home.

"Good luck, Bella," she patted my back and left. I didn't really pay much attention.

I picked up my phone and called the one person who'd told me the same damn thing that Esme had for so many years.

"_Hello?_"

"Lisa. It's Bella."

"_Is everything okay, Bella?_"

"Of course…I just wanted you to know that I need you here next week. We need to show the teens of Forks how to party…Florida style."

"_Eeeee!_" she squealed and we spoke for a few more minutes before she promised to come on Friday itself. I hung up and texted Alice to get her people here tomorrow and get this show on the road. That text alone incited a half an hour long call and louder-than-fuck squeals.

After Charlie went to bed, I got out of my bed and went outside, taking a cigarette with me. I lit it up and pulled it in, hearing the implied 'Hallelujah.'

_You're killing me by smoking, you know._

Well then Nell, what little I'm doing, I'm doing right.

_Hardy har har. You're funny huh?_

You know you love it. Anyway, I'm not in the mood for this shit. Just let me smoke in peace okay?

_Whatevs sista._

I rolled my eyes at Nellie but before I could take another swig, the butt was out of my fingers and a shoe covered foot was crushing it on the floor.

"What the- "

"You really shouldn't be smoking," Edward grinned and I frowned.

"What are you doing here? And why did I not hear you come in?"

"You're exceptionally unobservant, Bella. What can I say?" Edward mock-sighed and I just ignored him.

"You're a chain-smoker then? I've never seen you smoke before though."

"Of course not. I'm in recovery."

"And what kind of a recovery from smoking involves smoking?" he asked skeptically.

"I don't know Edward. This is one butt that's hard to kick, I guess."

"And alcohol?"

"You drink too," I pointed out. He looked at me for a moment and then shrugged.

"What are you doing Edward?" I whispered as he took my hand in both of his. "My father…"

"…is sleeping. And he's also snoring like a lumberjack. It's okay. Tell me what happened today."

"I don't know what to say." And abruptly, Edward's eyes turned pleading and his voice shook with emotion.

"Tell me anything. Tell me you have faith in us. In you and me. Tell me that you see us working out somehow," he pleaded and I felt my heart break.

"We can try," I whispered against my will and he moaned, his head falling back in relief.

"We will try, Bella. And we will be together." He pulled me into a warm hug and for a few blissful moments, I forgot all about insecurities and impossibilities.

_You're such an emotional fool, girlie!_

* * *

**As always, let me hear from you. Scream at me, tell me you love me, and then tell my beta how awesome she is!**

**:)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to **_**muffinmom**_** for being the amazing beta that she is. She puts up with me and my crazy ways of writing and most of the stuff that makes sense in DITR, I owe to her.**

**You know which part was a surprise, honey. I hope you like it! **

**Thank you for everything, sweetie :) **** Muahh**

**Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I collide__  
__ - Howie Day_

**Chapter 9**

**BPOV**

"There is absolutely no need for an 'indoor pool full of pink colored champagne', Alice. And that's final," I said firmly. "Where do you even get such ideas from?" I mumbled as I wrote codes for cracking into another website that was giving me a lot of trouble. A university website from which Carlisle required me to delete records confirming that Edward and Rosalie had attended that University in 1940.

_Cue the shudder._

"But Bella…"she whined and actually stomped her feet on the ground.

"No Alice."

"Make me a deal," she cried and I turned around to face her.

"Fine. The indoor pool I have so you can use it. Make it a pool party for all I care. But no champagne. None at all."

"Okay. I can work with that," she clapped and bounced around like the energizer bunny until I waved her away

My back had started to hurt from sitting very still for so long and my eyes had definitely given up on me. It was time for a little nicotine break. I quietly got up, tip-toeing across the living room and attempted to get out of the house.

_Not so soon, bitch._

"Where exactly is it that you think you're going to with that thing in your hands?" Rosalie said motioning to my lighter, blocking the front door with Edward standing shoulder to shoulder with her.

"I'm going out. To smoke," I added nervously and Rosalie scowled.

"Are you serious? You're going to smoke? Even after that entire lecture with Carlisle? Do you know how pissed he's gonna be if he finds out you're still smoking?" she lectured as she felt around my jeans pockets until she found the spare packet of cigarettes I always had on me.

"This is staying with me," she commanded and left, a swagger on her hips.

_Look at that hot piece of ass_.

I'm straight, you bitch. And so are you.

_Non, madame. You speak for yourself. I haven't had any sexual awakening yet._

We will speak about this. Soon.

"Well, I still need some fresh air," I muttered and stepped out of the house with Edward close in tow.

"Here," he said, offering me a packet of Marlboro.

_He's offering you cigarettes._

Yeah I can see that.

_Edward Cullen is offering you cigarettes!_

Oh shut up!

"What is that?" I asked, looking at the packet suspiciously.

"A pack of pesky pixies! What do you think it is?" Edward cried and thrust the packet in to my hands.

_Pack of pesky pixies, pack of pesky pixies, pack of pesky pixies…_

I shrugged and popped it open, pulling one and sniffing it deftly.

"You might have been giving me roofies, for all I know," I admitted as I lit it up and brought it up to my mouth.

"And you'd smell the Ruphylin?" he asked skeptically.

"No…but then you'd be in doubt and break into a sweat. That would be proof enough."

"Skewed logic, Bella. Skewed logic," he rolled his eyes.

_He's cute when he does that._

I know right! I mean, uh, yeah, I guess he's ok.

_Liar._

Takes one to know one.

"So are you excited? For the party, I mean?' he asked and I grinned.

"Don't tell Alice. But yeah. I am kinda excited."

"I'm not one to spill, Bella," he raised his hands in defeat and smiled. "Your smile. It's really beautiful."

"Thank you, Edward. Now pray tell me, why are thou buttering me up?"

"I need a favor, actually."

"Yes I figured that part out by myself, thank you very much. Tell me what you want," I smirked.

"I need a date. For your party. And I want you to be my date," he said nervously and his eyes flitted to my lips and back up again.

Nellie!

_Pack of pesky pixies, pack of pesky pixies, pack of pesky pixies…_

Oh god, Nellie!

_Pack of pesky pixies, pack of pesky pixies…_

NELLIE!

_Christ, what?_

Did you hear what he said?

_Every frikkin' word. He's saying something, though._

"Are you listening to me, sweetheart?" he asked, his fingers snapping on front of my eyes. "I'm asking if that's okay with you. If not, then it's quite alright. I'll find a way –"

"Sure. I need a date too. I mean, I wouldn't wanna show up alone to my own party. So…sure. I mean yes. Yeah, yes," I stammered and then frowned. This man was surely going to be the death of me. And soon.

"Hold on a second, I'm having second thoughts. Maybe Jessica Stanley would like to come with me. I'm sure she won't mumble while answering me. And if not her, then I'll probably settle for Lauren Mallory," he mock-grumbled and then mock-sighed.

I narrowed my eyes at him and lifted my hand to smack his shoulder. He grabbed a hold of it before it could reach his body and brought my hand up to his mouth, softly kissing each finger-tip.

I sighed softly and Edward pulled me closer, turning me around and wrapping his arms around me so that my back was against his front and his chin was on my shoulder.

"I promised I'd find a way to work this out, Bella. I haven't given up yet. I never will. Just let me in," he whispered, taking the cigarette away from my fingers and flicking it to the ground.

"Are you getting all sooky on me, Cullen?" I smirked and the tension lifted. Edward laughed and turned me around again.

"Maybe. You having trouble with that Swan?" he asked and I giggled, shaking my head.

His eyes softened. "I really do love your laugh," he muttered and my face felt hot.

"That's all the emo talk I can take in one day, Cullen. I'm going back to work and you are going back to doing whatever it was you were doing before you came here. So long, sergeant," I gave him my Vulcan 'Live Long and Prosper' sign.

He laughed and waved me ahead.

_Where was I? Yeah…pack of pesky pixies. Pack of pesky pixies…_

-0-

"Dad, I missed you," I cried as I hugged Charlie in a choke-hold. If I was too tight, he didn't complain. Instead, he just pulled me closer.

"Oh baby girl, I missed you too. How was your weekend with the Cullens? Any trouble at all?"

"I'm throwing a party on Saturday…there's gonna be really, really loud music and I really, really need your permission," I blurted out and I pulled away from him, slapping my palm on my forehead. I peeked at him and he seemed contemplative, calculating.

"Uh dad?"

"Hold up Bella. I think I need to go to a doctor. Something's wrong with my hearing. I'm pretty sure I heard my daughter ask me – the Chief of Police of this town – permission to hold a _high school party_ in my house."

"Dad. Stop, okay? I did ask you for permission."

"You are serious, aren't you?"

"Deadly serious father."

Dad sighed and I resisted from jumping up and down in glee.

"Look I understand that you want to throw a party. And I'm gonna allow you to. But only on some conditions: No brawls. No liquor, Bella, I mean it. And absolutely no unprotected sex. I'm okay with a party but I do not – and I mean that – want a grandchild. Not yet."

_Dear Lord, did he just say that?_

"Oh dear father. You're generosity knows no bounds. Next time I shall gift you a cape because your superhuman generosity needs to cover it's backsi- I mean, thank you. Thank you, daddy," I saved tactfully in the end.

Charlie had raised an amused eyebrow throughout my performance and after it, he just frowned.

"Don't push it, Bells."

He went to the kitchen to fix dinner, shaking his head and I twirled around the living room like the graceful ballerina that I was not. My phone buzzed and I almost lost my footing. It was a text from Alice. Just a single fucking smiley.

: )

I texted her immediately.

What was that for?

Um, your father gave you permission, didn't he?

What the hell? How did you know, Alice?

;)

I frowned. How the hell does she know stuff like this?

_ Are you sure you wanna know?_

But there are so many fucking things. Weird things.

_Like what?_

I don't know, Nellie. Ever wondered how exactly Edward knew where I was when I saved Cheney from drowning? Or exactly why this entire family has records in universities and hospitals from the time when they shouldn't even have been born? I mean, Edward has apparently graduated from Harvard with a medical degree. He's a doctor…a fucking doctor!

_Calm down, love. You're screaming in your head. And it's honestly making me lose my mind. Listen to me, okay. You're being paid for what you're doing. He's paying you, right? Carlisle?_

Uh, yea. Frikkin three hundred fifty dollars a week.

_You don't deserve that, by the way._

What's your point?

_My point is that you get this job outta the way, finish working for them – completely – and THEN ask them stuff. Don't do it at the risk of your job._

That's pretty much the wisest thing you've ever said. Ever.

_ Yeah well, every bitch has her day._

-0-

I'd always wondered what I'd do if I had a time machine and could go back in time. There's a lot of wrong stuff to be corrected, I guess. I could conk Issac Newton in the head for making stupid laws about motion, or stop WW I. Or WW II. That would probably be very noble of me. But no. If I had a time machine and if I was given the chance to change one thing and one thing only then I'd regret the day I'd caved to Alice Cullen and Ben Cheney's incessant and whiny requests for a party. And I'd screw all the nobility in the world just to change that.

"Two and a half thousand dollars?" I screamed, getting off my couch and then dissolving in a fit of cough. I gingerly sat back down.

"You shouldn't be screaming around. It's not good for you," Esme chided and I nodded.

I glanced back down at the bill receipt in my hand and back to a very guilty looking Alice.

"Alice…you cannot be throwing a party for two and a half thousand dollars. That's too expensive" I rasped and then dissolved into a coughing fit. "Ok I'm dying."

"You are gonna be just fine," Edward soothed. I ignored him and glared at Alice who shifted uncomfortably.

"Fuck this shit. There's gonna be no party here. Forget it."

"Nooo, Bella. You can't do that. You can't cancel this party," Alice cried.

I laid my head back on the couch and closed my eyes. "Watch me."

"Bella, please, please, please don't do this. Everything is planned and the entire school's talking about it…"

I cut her off, raising my hand rudely. I felt kinda guilty about it for a second before I remembered exactly the amount of money I'd have to pay.

"Have we told the school population?"

"No but- "

"It's a yes or no question, Alice. Have we or have we not told everyone yet?" I asserted.

Alice sighed before shaking her head, no.

"Good. Then there's nothing to fret about, is there? We'll just cancel the entire thing, pay all cancellation fees and pretend like this never happened," I shrugged.

_You are an evil, evil woman Bella, and I like it._

"We can't do that! You are not going to put me through that!" Alice screamed and I sighed.

"First of all, I love you and all, but keep your voice low. No don't stare at me that way, Alice, you're loud voice is hurting my brain. Secondly, why do you think I asked you to go wild?"

"Because…because…I don't know." Alice actually stomped her foot on the ground in frustration. Esme, beside me, chuckled and I realized that I'd forgotten that the rest of them were here too.

"Because I trust you. Trust. T-R-U-S-T. Five letter word. Big-ass meaning. Alice, I don't mean to be rude but seriously. Just because you have money and you know I have money doesn't mean you spend it on stupid stuff like a high school party. And more importantly, that money isn't mine till I'm eighteen, right? So basically, Charlie is paying for this. Do you really want a favor this big from Charlie?" I ended my speech feeling kinda bad-ass.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I'll just call these planner people and fix this right now," Alice smiled and turned to go and I jumped up, holding her hand.

"Don't. Just remember what I said, okay sweetheart?" I smiled and she nodded gingerly, coming forward and hugging me. I started to protest about germs but she merely brushed me off.

A few moments of blissful silence later, I started sneezing. And I really wasn't one of those stop-after-one-sneeze kinda people, was I?

_Nope you're not._

I sighed after it was over and called for Rosalie and Alice to come closer.

"You can take my shoes and clothes. All of 'em. Wear them, give them to charity, whatever. Just take them," I told Alice who nodded guiltily.

_The bitch deserves it for spending all that dough_, Nellie sniffled sourly.

"Rosalie…I can see a car freak when I see one. And for all its worth, you can take my car when I die. Take care of my baby. Give her the best life a car can have, okay?" I asked and Rosalie nodded somberly.

I turned to Esme who was sitting right beside me, watching us with an amused expression. As soon as I took a hold of her hands, her expression turned grave.

"Esme, you're an amazing person and I hope you know that. There is nothing I could possibly give because seriously, I've seen your bank balance," I said and we both giggled. We realized my slip and became serious again.

"And even if there is nothing I could possibly give to you, I want to leave you with all of my charms and necklaces and bracelets. You should probably know that each and every one of them has a story and a memory attached to them. Keep them safe. And through them, keep me alive."

Esme smiled and pulled me in for a hug. I protested for the thousandth time that she didn't need my germs but she remained adamant. And I certainly wasn't going to deny the comfort.

I turned to Edward and waited for it.

"Uh, I have this, uh, this assignment that needs to be submitted tomorrow. Rose, mom, do you guys mind helping me? There's a lot to be done. You'll be fine with Edward, won't you Bella?" Alice said nervously, wringing her hands together.

"Yeah Alice, of course. Go right ahead," I sniffed and she jumped right up, pulling Esme and Rose with her.

I rolled my eyes at their subtlety and Edward chuckled, obviously knowing what just happened.

"So…what do I get?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"What do you want?" I asked flirtatiously.

"You know what," he whispered, his fingers tracing my lips and my smile faltered. I quickly pulled back and pretended to study the threads of my pjs.

"Sweetheart, tell me what you're thinking," he murmured and I looked up to see his eyes were pained.

I cursed myself and took a deep breath.

"Edward, look. Your father pays me to do this job, okay? I'm his employee. And that means it wouldn't be ethical for you and me to…it's not right, Edward. Please just try and understand that," I begged and my lower lip trembled. I bit it hard and Edward's breath shuddered in his chest.

"Don't say that, Bella. I really l-like you, okay. I more than like you, in fact. And I know you don't wanna hear it right now. And that's okay. I just want you to know that I'm here. And I care. So much," he whispered and brushed his lips against my forehead.

I closed my eyes and allowed myself to feel the serenity that came with his touch, while it lasted.

"You need to know some things. A lot of stuff that you don't know about me that I should probably tell you."

"Tell me."

"Soon."

* * *

**Maybe we're closer to the knowing Bella's story, yeah? Or are we really? **

**Any theories?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey there peeps!**

**Thanks for all your kind words. I read each of them and they absolutely make my day **

**Thanks again to muffinmom…she's busy as hell but always, ALWAYS gets back to me on time so I can post this madness on time. Thanks a ton, sweetie.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_If I could reach the stars, I'd pull one down for you  
Shine it on my heart, so you could see the truth  
That this love I have inside, is everything it seems  
But for now I find, it's only in my dreams_

_That I can change the world_  
_I would be the sunlight in your universe_  
_You will think my love was really something good_  
_Baby, if I could, change the world_

_-Eric Clapton_

**Chapter 10**

**BPOV**

"Lovely ladies and dashing gents of Forks High…may I have your attention please?" Angela screamed and there was pin-drop silence immediately. She looked pleased with herself. After all she had been standing on top of the cafeteria table and in her hands were the two cans of Coke she was banging together to get everyone's attention. Not that it had worked.

_God, it's always the quiet ones._

"So we all know how Bella saved my Benno from drowning in the Sol Duc, don't we?" she started and there were wolf-whistles and cat-calls and I shook my head. Really, sometimes I wondered what I was doing here.

"So she's graciously throwing a party at her place tomorrow night. Just to celebrate, uh, life. Right, Bella?" she glanced back at me with a "_The fuck?!_" look on her face and I rolled my eyes. I decided to climb up and stand with Angie.

I stood up on the table with some help – there was a hand on my ass, pushing me up that suspiciously felt like Edward's – and smiled down at the teenagers of Forks.

"There's gonna be booze, people! Are we in or what?" and there ensued an even bigger cheer and I stepped down, my eyes narrowed at Edward.

"Did you grope me? Just now when I was climbing up, did you grope me?"

"No, Bella. Of course not. Why, uh, why would I do that?"

"Coz you're a guy. And you have a dick. And all guys who have dicks like to grope."

"Now, now, Bella. That's not true. Jasper's a guy. He has a dick. He doesn't grope me," Alice soothed. A minute too late, I realized it wasn't me she was soothing at all. Oh no. It was Jasper.

I squinted at her too.

"You allow him to grope you. That's why he doesn't grope you. Coz you let him."

"So let me get this right…if a guy is allowed to grope a girl, he doesn't? But if he's not then he does?" Ben cocked his eyebrow.

"Yeah, duh. It's like Psychology 101. Forbidden fruit and all that."

"Let's go to class, Bella," Edward sighed and stuck my tongue out at him.

_Such a killjoy!_

"So my friend, Lisa, she's gonna be coming today. I invited her for tomorrow night's party," I said as we walked to my locker.

"She doesn't have school?" Edward inquired and I rolled my eyes.

"Her mother is like, the Secretary of the school. She'll be fine. Besides, I'm sure the bitch has a GPA good enough to allow her to ditch school for like, four more weeks."

"I'm sure she does," Edward muttered and I put my hand on his arm, stopping him in the middle of the corridor, forcing people behind us to whine and change lanes.

"Are you– did you just patronize me Cullen?"

"You don't want to be late for class, Bella."

"What is up with you?"

"Your father allowed liquor?"

"No he didn't," I shifted guiltily. "But I'll make sure that no one gets like, really wasted. I swear."

"Bella, you're gonna have to be sober to ensure that," he deadpanned.

"Ouch. That's cold. I'm not a drunk, if that's what you're trying to say."

"Fine. That's your cross to bear. Good luck staying sober in a high-school party," he said and made to go.

And he walked away without a backward glance.

-0-

Men are dogs.

Yeah, yeah. This phrase is overused and really clichéd and all women in the world have thought it to themselves at least about a million times in their head. My point? Men are dogs.

Edward, for example.

He didn't speak to me all of Friday and drove me home in utter silence. And he drove me to _my_ home, mind you, not his, saying that Carlisle had asked him to do so. Funny. I didn't remember Carlisle saying anything like that at all.

So I sat at home all day, moping and really grouchy, while Alice came home, got the house ready for the party with her last minute things, kissed my cheek and left. That's all. No entrance greeting and no exit greeting.

_Alright Grumpy, knock it off._

Lisa called me and told me that she would be arriving at Sea-Tac airport. It was a three hour drive which meant a good three hours to mope. I reached the airport and sat down on one of those horribly uncomfortable plastic chairs.

Edward wasn't pissed off about the booze. I may have not known him to the T, but this was clear. In fact, he actually enjoyed listening to my dunk escapades. So it wasn't the liquor.

I wasn't sure if it was Lisa bunking school. Why would that affect him? It's not like he knew her, or something. Why would he care?

_You sound like Dexter. You know that serial killer on CBS. He hardly murders and when he does, he thinks so damn much it pisses me off. Big time._

Lisa's flight was announced and I got up from my seat slowly, walking towards the Arrivals area of terminal 2 where Lisa would be coming.

I saw her walking towards me with a huge, huge smile and I waved at her. Several greetings, hugs and air-kisses later, we were in my car and she was sitting beside me, clicking her seat-belt into place.

"So Lisa…how's life been treating you?" I asked after we were quiet for some time. She frowned and shook her head at me. I furrowed my brow.

_What now?_

"Have you been hacking for someone, Bella?"

"The fuck? How did you know?"

"Sweet! I'm assuming this client you're working for is really well-to-do. I mean come on. They can afford you, right?" she grinned and I rolled my eyes and repeated myself.

"How did you know?"

"Bella, sweetie, you're like those pregnant women, you know, when you do illegal stuff? With the glowing skin and the…okay only the glowing skin. I don't think there's much of a change in your boobs. And as for your libido…yeah, well I love you but not enough to want to know anything about that."

I gawked at Lisa for a full minute (through the mirror obviously, I was too chicken-shit to perform car stunts that only Edward Cullen could pull off) and shook my head in amazement.

_Sweet be-jeezus. I really, really don't like this girl. Do you think we could kill her and dump her body here, somewhere?_

I think we could but Nell, Edward knows she's coming here today and I told Alice earlier that I was gonna pick Lisa up. They might notice her absence.

_Ah, Bella. You could just, I don't know, sweet talk your way with Edward. You know he's a sucker for that. As for Alice. Well, you could kill her too, she's that tiny._

You're right. This is definitely something to consider. And I'm the beloved daughter of the Chief of Police. No one would suspect me, would they? Wow. You're talented in this killing hiding business.

_And don't you forget it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I was Norman Bates in my past life._

Wow. Way to degenerate the conversation. Way to go, Nellie. Way to go.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?"

"No, Lisa. I'm not. I'm driving," I grinned.

"Fine, whatever. Then you're probably not interested in knowing what happened to that tattoo girl of yours," Lisa smirked.

"Dory? What happened to her?"

"She eloped."

"Wow, seriously? Good for her. Now, tell me how you know."

"Fine," Lisa conceded. "You've been leaving traces everywhere, sweetie. Clumsy job, if you ask me. I was going through some MAC addresses that were backlogging on my mainframe and there you were in all your glory. You were a fuchsia colored dot."

"I haven't been using your mainframe for back-up. I have a guy who set up a pseudo-server for me in Seattle. I'm completely cut-off from you," I reminded her.

"Ah, Bella. You're young. You don't understand much about hacking do you? I'm like your hacking guru. And I'm always keeping a watch on you," she grinned.

"So what your hack-stalking me?"

"Hack-stalking? Oh hell no. I'm IP address stalking you," Lisa laughed and I hit my hand against the steering wheel in frustration.

There was a loud honk and Lisa just laughed some more.

-0-

"Jesus effing Christ Bella! This project of yours looks big. Who are you doing this for?" Lisa asked as she scrolled through all the notes I'd made while hacking the previous night.

Today was Saturday - the big day – and yet somehow, thanks to Lisa, I was talking about work.

Although she'd asked me an open-ended question, and she'd understand if I didn't want to reveal my "client's" identity for security sake, there hadn't been one site that I'd hacked without telling Lisa.

Except the Cullens' case.

Somehow I felt strongly that I had to protect the Cullens.

_After all, you wouldn't want to screw with their probably-immortal asses, would you?_

So I vaguely insinuated that I was working for good people. Good enough to pay me three hundred fifty dollars a week.

Lisa let out a low whistle and nodded patronizingly. I merely ignored her. The less I reacted to her, the less questions she asked and the less I had to lie.

"It's almost ten. I'm gonna go get ready. You should too, babe," Lisa added as an after-thought, walking outta my bed-room and into the guest-room she was occupying.

I glanced at the clock on my laptop and it was indeed almost ten. I got up from my seat, stretching a little and walked up to me bed, where my phone lay.

I speed-dialed the one person who was nowhere to be seen today.

"_Bella?"_

"Oh so you do remember me, huh? Thanks for ignoring me all day yesterday, by the way."

"_I'm sorry, sweetheart. I've been pre-occupied all of today and yesterday I was a little upset..."_

"Fine. Whatever. Listen, uh, you're gonna be coming today right?" I stammered and Lisa poked her head through the door. Figures, she'd been standing right there all along.

"_Considering my sister has co-thrown this party and she'd cut me up into non-attractive pieces if I didn't come, yes. I'll be there."_

I laughed out loud, studiously ignoring Lisa's wide-eyes and the fact that she'd planted herself on my bed, saying goodbye after my laughing fit died down and told Edward that I'd see him later tonight. I'd actually meant to ask him about his funny behavior all day yesterday but I guess that could wait.

I turned back to Lisa who was studying my profile with an almost clinical eye and I raised an amused eye-brow at her. She merely squinted at me.

"What, Lisa?" I sighed tiredly.

"Who was that?" she asked, excited. Like she usually got whenever gossip was involved.

"No one. My employer's really, really hot son. No one."

"Is he a no one? Or is he your employer's really, really hot son?"

"Both," I smirked and plopped down on the bed beside her.

"Got something to tell me?"

"I like him," I admitted slowly. "But he wants…more. Not casual…and I'm pretty damn sure he wants a commitment. But I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"And why is that?" Lisa asked softly, exactly like the psychologist she wanted to be.

"I don't know. I just…God! With Edward I just don't know anything, you know. It's so strange. I want him to know me but I don't. It's so confusing," I said, wearily rubbing my hand on the side of my face.

"You say he wants a commitment. Has he ever actually asked you for one?" Lisa asked, frowning.

"Not really," I said and her face relaxed. "But he'll definitely want one if he's so…"

"Has he ever said the words?" she interrupted.

"No," I admitted.

"Maybe it's time to give it a chance, Bella. How long are you gonna do this…this running away? This hiding, Bella. It's not healthy. Renee wouldn't want that Bella, you know that."

My eyes filled with the mention of my mother and I turned my face away.

"Will you promise to at least think about what I'm saying? Take your time, there's no hurry. Besides, if this guy likes you as much as you say he does, then he'll wait. Right?"

I was pretty sure he would but I didn't answer. I didn't wanna give her ammunition. So I nodded wearily.

"I'll think about it."

_I'm pretty sure, you will, _Nellie piped in and I sighed. It was about time Nellie started talking.

"Thanks, Bella. Trust me babe, you'll do yourself a favor."

"I'm sure I am. Now go cover your hot ass with something ridiculously indecent . The party's starting in like, an hour."

_I swear if Edward was any less hotter, I'd say you are totally into Lisa. Jesus!_

-0-

"I swear Bella's the richest bitch in Forks."

"OMG noo! The Cullen's are richer. Like, totally, like filthy richer than Bella. When they first moved in, Mrs. Cullen kept like, a lawn-type tea party. My mom went to it and clicked pictures of the entire place. Jesus! It was like, fucking amazing!"

"You said it was a 'lawn-type tea party.'"

"Yeah well, my mom had to pee," Jessica shrugs and the entire group cringed.

Jessica, Lauren, Angela and Ben had been discussing my wealth and the Cullens' for some time now, as they sat at the other end of the pool unaware that I could hear them clearly as I floated in the middle of the pool on my float. Granted, I was the host and was supposed to be a little more _involved _ in the party, but seriously. As soon as the booze appeared, I would be very, _very_ involved.

"Seriously, people in Forks need to get a life," Lisa said loud enough for Jessica to hear, before jumping unceremoniously on me from her place on the pool side. I went down under for a second and came up spluttering.

"Bitch!" I screamed and Lisa stuck her tongue out at me, as she flipped onto her back as she floated to me. I climbed back on top of Bettie – my beloved float – and glared at her.

"What was that for?"

"You should have seen the look on your face," Lisa laughed and I pouted at her before joining right in.

"Okay, okay," I giggled, as Lisa's chuckles died down. "Let's get outta here and get something to drink," I said as I started to get out of the pool.

"Amen to that," Lisa muttered and we both tied a sarong around our bodies as we made our way outside to where people were definitely wasted.

Over three-fourth of the population of Forks High School was scattered in my lawn and house and I had absolutely no idea how Alice and Angela had managed to convince the neighbors – or even Charlie for that matter – for this party.

"How in hell did the Chief agree to this, Bella?" Lisa muttered.

"I was thinking the same damned thing. He must really like – and trust – Alice," I said, awed.

"Alice? Edward's sister Alice? Or event-planner Alice?" Lisa asked as we bee-lined towards the bar, passing a blubbering Tyler Crowley.

_Jesus, the guy's actually crying!_

Oh you're back? Christ! Leave me alone.

_No can do, ma'am. You're stuck with me. For life. Muahahahaha._

I shuddered at Nellie's attempt at an evil laugh and shivered at her words and answered Lisa quickly.

"They're both the same. One and only. Speaking of Alice, why aren't they here yet?" I trailed off. "And Lisa? Fetch me a Heineken, sweetheart," I added which earned me a very crude hand gesture which I returned by sticking out my tongue.

_Real mature, Bella. Real mature._

I muttered a lame _I'll be right back _ to Lisa as she ducked to search for our drinks, and navigated my way through the crowd to search for any sign of Alice.

_Yeah right. You're not searching for Alice and you know it._

Whatever Nellie.

"Bella? Yo, Bella? Hey girl, hold up," I heard behind me and I turned around, coming face to face with Caleb, a senior.

"Hey, Caleb. Sup?"

"Your friend, that chick behind the bar. Is she single?" he asked breathlessly, his eyes darting from my chest to my eyes.

I frowned at him pointedly and he muttered an embarrassed _Sorry._

"She's single yeah. As far as I know. What I also know is that she ain't interested in Forks guys. She's gonna be back in Arizona this time tomorrow."

"Yeah I'll be the judge of where she's gonna be tomorrow night. Thanks, babe," Caleb grinned and made his way to Lisa.

_The fucker is so gonna get it._

No shit, Nellie.

"Bella! Bella!" I heard Alice call out and I grinned as I saw her enter my house, the rest of the family in tow behind her. "This is so awesome. Isn't it awesome?" she squealed and I nodded enthusiastically.

"Where were you guys? I've been searching for you guys everywhere," I shouted. It was almost impossible to hear over the noise.

"Yeah well, Edward is an ass. That's all I'm gonna say. Let's go soak in the pool some," she giggled and I followed her, eagerly. Mid-way, she squealed and went to look for Jasper.

_What about Lisa, bitch?_

Lisa's a big girl. Besides either she's getting some from Caleb or she's tearing him a new asshole. She'll be just fine.

"Bella," Edward whispered and I turned around. Funny how I could hear him just fine.

"Hey," I smiled and surprised by initiating contact for a change and taking his hand. "Wanna go to the pool? The water's warm and everything."

"Of course. Let's go," he grinned and led me towards the pool. He'd worn a shirt with board-shorts and I couldn't wait to see him outta those. For once, Edward Cullen looked like a teenager. The thought made me smile.

As we reached the pool, I dropped my sarong and watched as Edward shed his clothes too. When he was left in the sexiest trunks I had ever seen, he looked up and I had the pleasure of his eyes raking over my body, turning a shade darker.

_Wow, creepy._

Wow, sexy.

"Shall we," he murmured and led me by the hand into the almost empty pool. His eyes fixed on me the whole time, he pulled me to him and I hooked my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. His eyes were almost black now.

"I bet I could stay underwater longer than you can," I said and his brow furrowed. When he actually seemed to understand what I had said, he tipped his head back and laughed. It was beautiful.

But, it was a direct attack on my ego.

"Wanna bet?" I murmured and he pulled me tighter against him. I tipped my head back at the sensation and his lips followed a trail of wet kisses along my jaw and neck.

"Yes," he whispered into my neck and I let out a breathy "Mmm."

"Wait a second," he said, letting go of me and whistling really loud.

"Wow. What was that for?" I asked, surprised.

"Bella bear!" Emmett shouted and the whole family trailed in.

"They heard you through that noise?" I asked, bewildered as to how his whistle could be heard right into my living room and lawn when I could hardly hear spoken words even when they were right beside me.

Edward shrugged and told the rest of his family about our bet. I however was close to losing my mind. There was no way in hell they could have heard him. Unless they had super-hearing powers. Which for a fact, I knew they didn't. Back me up here, Nellie.

_…_

Nellie?

_…_

Jesus Christ!

"What do you wanna bet?" Edward asked, his smirk ridiculously alluring.

"Hmm, I haven't decided yet. How about we play first and then see what the winner wants," I grinned and Edward nodded, smirk in place.

"Alright, kids. No rules, play as dirty as you want. Explicit nudity gets brownie points. On my mark," Emmett hollered and several people gathered around the pool. I grinned at Edward and raised up my thumb in the universal gesture for "All the Best." He smirked as Emmett started the countdown.

"Three, two, one and go!"

I ducked underwater and Edward joined me. We held hands for some time and honestly, what with Edward's smug grin and my dwindling supply of air, it looked like Edward was gonna win this one, fair and square.

_That won't do now, would it?_

Nope, it won't.

I grinned at him, sexily I hope, and rubbed my bikini top with my hand. Slowly. Very slowly. He swallowed nervously.

_Bingo!_

And just as slowly, I brought my hands to the back of my bikini top, letting them hover over the bow string. Slowly, slowly, I tugged on them until they came lose.

Whoops!

Edward's eyes were wide and he gave up and surfaced almost immediately.

I grinned and tied the bow again, following him right out of the water.

Even so, I had won.

The crowd cheered and Edward panted as he glared at me and I went over to him and hugged him.

"You lost against a chick, dude," Jasper bellowed and the crowd erupted, bottles of beer in the air and all.

I saw Lisa standing in the corner, eyes wide, two glasses of what looks like beer, shaking almost violently in her hand. I walked up to her as she continued to stare almost through me. I shook her a little and her eyes snapped to me.

She seemed to come out of a daze or something and she cursed under her breath, her eyes set on something behind me. I quickly glanced behind to see that Alice was looking at Lisa like she was confused about something and Edward's looked from Alice to Lisa with wide, fearful eyes.

"Who are they?"

"The Cullens. Those were my boss's children that you just eye-killed. Jeez Lisa could be a little more- "

"You didn't tell me you were working for them," Lisa murmured almost to herself and her hand on my elbow tightened.

"Of course I did, you fool. I told you I work for Dr. Carlisle and those are his children- "

"Bella," she hissed. "You didn't tell me you work for vampires."

* * *

**Oooh, major cliffie.**

**And what's with Edward's mood-swings? How does Lisa know about vampires?**

**Let me know what you're thinking, and share your theories, people. ****Oh, the next chapter is gonna be Edward's point of view. Excited?**

**Until next time!**

**Rhea**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, so sorry for the late update. Got a little caught up AND this chapter needed a lot of work. Thanks to muffinmom again for all her help. I know you're busy and you still make time for me and that means more to me than anything else :)**

**I hope you enjoy Edward's POV.**

* * *

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you_  
_When your soul embarks_  
_Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_-Death Cab for Cutie_

**Chapter 11**

**EPOV**

_You didn't tell me you work for vampires. _

The words had been out of her mouth before she'd even completed the entire thought. Using but a handful of words, Lisa had managed to – as Emmett so eloquently put it – fuck my life.

It was almost three in the morning and Bella was beyond drunk. She'd already thrown up four times and now she was just dry heaving. There was nothing left for her body to release.

She winced in pain and squeezed her eyes shut every time it happened, but her body wouldn't give her any relief.

It broke my heart every time.

I rubbed my face tiredly. It had been only about an hour since everyone had left. And all the time that could have been used taking care of Bella and ensuring that she understood that there was absolutely no need to be afraid of us, was spent in a cleaning job and letting hormonal, drunk teenagers out of the house. All in all, it was hell.

Bella stepped into the room, her eyes half lidded, leaning on Lisa more than a normal drunk should. She dropped onto the couch with a heavy sigh and leaned her head back, folding her legs below her.

I stood at the other side of the living room, almost a condemned man awaiting execution.

"Maybe you should leave," Lisa said softly, still wary of us, and I snarled loud enough for her to hear. She shivered.

"Maybe you should just shut up and do your job, eh?" Rosalie growled at Lisa and I looked her way in gratefulness.

"She's right. Go. Get out of here," Bella whispered and I could see that even talking was causing her pain.

"Bella," I murmured and her head snapped to me. Her eyes flashed with anger and I knew I was in for a long night. Or morning.

"You! Get out of my house. I mean it," she snapped at me and my dead heart shattered into a million pieces. Bella had never spoken to me like this and that hurt me more than her bitter words.

"Why, Bella?" Rosalie cut in. "If I'm not mistaken, you had everything you needed to know about us. You have had our records, our bank statements, hell you have every little piece of information about us. Why did you never ask us? Are you that stupid? Or are you just a gold digging bitch that has been leading my brother on?" Rosalie snapped and I could see in Bella's eyes that Rosalie's words had crossed a line. Alice gasped and started to usher everyone outside the door.

With much difficulty, Bella stood and came up to me.

"Get out of my house. Now!"

"I'm not leaving you, Bella. Not like this. And especially not alone with her," I sneered, nodding at Lisa.

"She told me the truth about you. She told me what you are. And she is not going anywhere. You are. Now I'm saying this for the last time. Get out!" Bella screamed and yet her voice shook, like she was fighting with herself. I raised my hand slowly and brought it to her face in a way that she would understand my intentions and stop me if she wanted to.

She didn't.

I gently traced her cheek and her jaw, and ran a finger over her lips. She shuddered and literally leant into my hand, her eyes burning into mine the whole time.

"Why, Edward? Why the lies? All this time you lied to me and I don't even understand why you would do that. Did you not even feel the need to tell me that you're not a…a human? What, that kind of information wasn't important?" she asked.

"I sincerely thought you were going to confront us first, love. You had everything that you needed? Are you telling me you never suspected anything?" I asked gently.

"Suspect what? I'm supposed to just make the jump from Edward Cullen to Count Dracula? Or did you expect me to go to your father and ask him if he slept in a coffin? Edward, vampires aren't real. And I can't go to my employer – or his family – just because they have pale skin and weird records and ask them if they're immortal, okay?" Bella sniffed and I pulled her closer. I wasn't sure I could argue with her logic or what would help her right now, but laying her head against my heart and swaying her gently seemed to be working.

It could have been minutes or even hours later that Lisa walked in and I snarled at her, pulling Bella behind me slightly. She was surprisingly pliant and I looked down to see that she was fast asleep.

"Take her to her room. Then we'll talk. And we have much to talk about, vampire," Lisa frowned and I narrowed my eyes at her and nodded.

I lifted Bella gingerly and climbed up the stairs slowly, brushing some hair out of her face. I reached the door to her room and pushed it open with my foot and for the first time, saw Bella's room through my own eyes.

"Are you going to put me down on my bed and let me get some sleep or just stand here staring at my room?" Bella mumbled and I smiled slightly. She was herself even when she wasn't.

I stepped in and slowly lowered her to her bed, pulling the covers over her. She snuggled deeper into her bed. I smiled.

"I'll be back tonight. No matter what, I'll be here," I whispered and pressed my lips to her hair, inhaling the sweet fragrance before pulling away. I felt her tug at my shirt and she mumbled sleepily.

"What if I don't want you here?"

"I'll still be here," I promised and stepped out of her room before my heart broke some more.

I ran down the steps in a flash. My entire family had re-entered the house and were sitting and staring at me warily, like I was a wild animal that could lose control at any given time. Which, in retrospect, I probably was. My senses detected the smell of rushing blood and a palpitating heart and in a second's time, my hand was around the neck of the threat.

"How do you know about us?" I snarled and shrugged my shoulder when I felt Carlisle's firm hand on me.

"Son, calm down."

"Tell me, how do you know?" I growled and smiled menacingly while Lisa squirmed, her hand flying up to her throat as she thrashed uselessly.

"Let me go. Please," she groaned and her eyes showed so much fear that I dropped my hand and stepped away like I'd been tasered.

It was too much like before, too much like 1928 when I'd been playing God, with my hand around my victim's throat as they squirmed and groaned and begged for mercy. I'd taken great pleasure then, and I was taking great pleasure now. This was wrong. This was very wrong.

I stepped away and collapsed on the nearby loveseat, burying my head in my hands.

Lisa coughed and spluttered, and Esme led her into the kitchen, probably for a drink of water. She still seemed a little wary but allowed it. For a while, there was no noise but the dull hum of thoughts in my mind and the two sets of heartbeats and rapidly fluttering lungs.

"Bella was five when she and her mother Renee left Forks," Lisa whispered. "Her parents cited incompatibility as the reason for their divorce but really, it wasn't that. Not at all, because if two people couldn't have loved each other more, it was Renee and Charlie. But Renee just up and left one day."

"Without any fights?" Esme asked, her forehead creased as she tried to figure out why this would be relevant to anything at all.

"Without fights, without any settlement. She just left. And she took Bella with her. She'd been diagnosed with cervical cancer. She couldn't bear the thought that Charlie would have to see her wither and fade away. She didn't want that. So she left. In the time that she needed help most, Renee picked up her daughter and walked away from her husband."

"When she came to Arizona, she became our neighbor. She took to my mother a lot, and before you know it, Renee and my mom, Mary, were best friends and fighting over why Renee left Charlie in the first place. Mom never supported her but Renee was adamant. Stubborn. Bella's got that from her, I think. And when Renee told all this to my mother, Mom stopped talking to her for some time. Besides, she never told my mother that she was sick."

"Bella was twelve when Renee died," Lisa sighed and fell silent, looking out towards the dark lawn.

"But women with cervical cancer survive," Carlisle said quietly. "With chemotherapy and radiation, even a Stage IV case can be cured. It's rare, but it happens."

"Yeah that's the thing. Renee refused treatment. It's a miracle she lived for so long," Lisa said, warily.

"Are you telling me that Bella's mother refused treatment when she knew she could have survived? She voluntarily agreed to die when she knew she had a little girl to take care of?" Rosalie said, incredulously. "Was she for real?"

"Rose," Esme, chided. "I'm sure she had her reasons."

"She had no reasons. She was a selfish woman," Lisa sneered and for once I agreed with her.

"Why would she refuse treatment? How did she even get away with that?" I asked, my patience running out with a woman I didn't even know.

"Like I said, she never told anyone. And cancer…it's not something you can see, is it? It's all internal. Sure she got thinner, weaker but by then it was too late."

"Jesus," Emmett muttered and shook his head, running his hands through his hair. "That's seriously fucked up."

"I know," Lisa whispered and we all fell silent.

"She feels guilty," I said, after some time passed and Lisa nodded tiredly before explaining.

"She feels like if she'd been a better daughter then maybe Renee would have fought for her. She feels like there's something wrong with her. And she's just as stubborn as her mother. You can't just waltz into her life and tell her otherwise. Heaven knows I've been trying for five years…"

"Five years? Renee didn't tell Bella that she was sick either?" Esme exclaimed and I closed my eyes because I knew what the answer to that was.

"No one knew. No one at all," Lisa answered quietly.

"Charlie was a mess. Right when Renee left, it was…it was a downward spiral for him. He grew for some time to resent Bella. That explains why he approved for Bella to be given to my mom. And it's precisely why, now, Charlie never refuses to something Bella might want. He's basically making up for lost time and atoning for his mistakes in this fucked up way."

"He gives her cars, money, whatever shit she wants, she gets. It's disgusting. We're only lucky Bella hasn't asked for drugs or whatever. I'm pretty damn sure he'd give her that too, if she asked nicely," Lisa sneered and wiped some stray tears away.

There was some more silence. I didn't know why exactly no one spoke but it was serene, the quiet. If seven vampire minds were having difficulty digesting this truth, I could only imagine what Bella must have been through.

"Bella was devastated. Renee told us the entire thing right before she died and Bella adored her mother like no other. After Renee died, she lived with us for some time, since Mom was her legal guardian. When she was about sixteen, she moved to her house. She stayed there alone for one year. We were neighbors so mom kept a watch on her but Bella was…gone. That's the best way to put it. The Bella I know came back only after she moved out to her own place. She was in depression for so long. God! It was painful to watch. She found a distraction in hacking, I think. But that's all it was. A distraction. And since I taught and encouraged her, not to mention taught her, I feel responsible."

"And then came the liquor. The smoking. It made her feel numb. If I think about it now, I think Bells got so good at hacking because, for a while, that's all she did. To keep her mind occupied, so she wouldn't think about anything," Lisa sighed and looked right at me. "I'm not telling you this because you're threatening me. If you had wrong intentions, I'd die before I told you about Bella."

I ignored the threat. She meant less than squat to me. "How do you know about vampires?"

"My father used to work for vampires in Italy- he was part Italian – and he was only supposed to work with them for like, a year or so. I don't know much about the vampires there, but what I do know I've read from the journals he used to send my Mom. And it's not pretty. He handled their finances, took care of their accounts, helped them blend in, stuff like that. And once they found someone younger than him, they made a meal out of him," Lisa said flatly and I couldn't help but pity her. Just a little.

"I'm sorry," Esme whispered and Lisa nodded.

"I didn't really know him. He was gone when I was just four. But thank you."

"It's late. You should go home. And I should sleep. I'll keep watch on Bella tonight," Lisa said, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm staying here with Bella," I growled.

"Edward, when all this finally hits her tomorrow morning, she will not want you here, trust me. Please, just go."

"We'll go. You take care of Bella and call us if you need anything," Emmett said, surprisingly gentle, and placed one hand on my shoulder. I knew the decision was made for me.

I was going home.

-0-

_This is stupid. It's been six hours. I'm coming up now, Edward._

"Alice."

"But Carlisle–"

"No Alice. Let him be," Carlisle said firmly. I sighed.

_I'm gonna find a way to sneak in there and stake your heart, doofus. So enjoy your moping for now, coz it's not lasting for long._

I sighed again. It had been like this for some time now. Every time Alice – or anyone for that matter – tried to come up to me, Carlisle or Esme stopped them.

I was grateful.

I was heartbroken.

There was a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew what it was. I just knew.

"Bella is not going to leave you and go, you idiot. Where would she go, huh?" Alice screamed and I cringed. I felt her presence beside me before I saw her.

"I thought Carlisle specifically asked you not to come up here. Go get a life, Alice," I said, faking nonchalance and her eyes softened. She plopped onto my bed beside me and I sighed, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Tell me what you saw Alice. And don't describe it to me. Show me," I whispered.

Alice shook her head. "Not now. You're not ready yet. I'll show you when you're ready." Then she sighed. "Go to Bella. She needs you now."

"But she told me—"

"No she didn't. Edward, believe it or not, Bella loves you. She doesn't know it and she's stubborn enough for you to have to shove her hard enough for her to get it herself. Does that make sense?"

"Barely," I frowned and shooed her out of my room. Getting dressed in fresh clothes in a flash, I jumped out the window and ran towards Bella's house. It just wasn't worth talking to my family before I saw Bella.

I stopped short just at her door when I heard Lisa and Bella speaking.

"—for me. Jesus, how screwed up is that?"

"It's not screwed up, Bella. He loves you," I heard Lisa say and my eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Loves me? Li, you've been here for what, less than one day? You've spoken to him for two hours. And you say he loves me? Besides, he knows better than to fall in love with someone like _me,_" Bella said and my hand actually twitched – aching to hold hers and comfort her.

_Holy shit, this girl. So stubborn. What to do, what to do? Alright, Lisa. Time to take out the big guns._

"Bella, it's in his eyes every time he looks at you. He loves you like crazy. And what do you mean 'someone like me'? I never thought you were one to stereotype yourself," Lisa smirked. It was obviously an attempt to anger Bella.

Surprisingly, it didn't work.

"I'm not stereotyping anything. Look, I'm hung over, heartbroken and suicidal. Just don't goad me right now, okay?" Bella sighed and I heard her get up and walk up to the kitchen. "Anything you need, Lisa?"

_I need you to believe your vampire actually loves you. _

"Nah. But a lemonade would be nice," she smiled sadly from her place on the couch.

"Yeah, well, come and make it yourself."

Lisa laughed and went to the kitchen. They worked quietly and after a few minutes of silence, Bella spoke seriously.

"I'm gonna finish this job for Carlisle because I took it up in the first place and then I'm gonna ask him and his 'children' to stay the hell away from me."

"Why work for them at all? If you're so scared. You don't need to deal with them and you definitely don't need the money so—"

"Well I've started the job," Bella interrupted, defensively. "I'm not going to be unprofessional about this!"

"Right. Yeah, sure. You think you'd be able to manage that? Stay away from Edward, I mean," Lisa asked, warily.

"Yeah I'll manage. As for Edward, he'll just have to survive the downfall, won't he? Serves him right for pursuing a chick from another species," Bella sneered.

My hands shook, this time in fear, and I had to hold the trunk of the tree I'd been leaning against. Was this the Bella I'd fallen in love with? Was this my Bella?

Lisa whirled around in surprise and grabbed Bella, laying her hands on Bella's shoulders and glaring at her.

"What did you just say? Are you serious? Do you even know what you're saying? Did you–"

"I know what I'm saying Lisa. And what I'm saying is that Edward Cullen needs to back out of my life," Bella asserted firmly.

* * *

**Updates will probably be a little peachy henceforth :(**


	12. Chapter 12

**Like I told muffinmom, there's gonna be angsty/brooding Bella this chapter. Surprisingly, also a Nellie that's 'making sense.' :)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year.  
Running over the same old ground,  
What have we found? The same old fears.  
Wish you were here._

_-Pink Floyd_

**Chapter 12**

**BPOV**

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I asked, tentatively and Lisa glared at me, effectively shutting me up.

_You are such a coward, bitch._

Yeah, well, Nellie, why don't you try talking to her when she's all pissed like that, huh?

_If nature was kind enough to give me a voice, I surely would. _

I swear you're not supposed to be anybody's conscience.

_Never said, I was. I'm just trapped in your body. Bleh!_

I rolled my eyes and nudged Lisa again.

"Seriously, Lisa. Snooping around doesn't seem like a good idea. They're vampires. What if they know?"

"They won't Bella," Lisa sighed exhaustedly. "If they were pros at hacking, they wouldn't approach you for the job, would they?"

I sighed. Maybe she was right. But now, it seemed to me that everything the Cullens did had some type of an ulterior motive. It wasn't a good feeling.

"Yeah, you're right. But still. Think about it. Their details have been online for so many years and someone with a mission and the right tools could have like definitely figured it out. Don't you think it's a bit of a stretch that they never cleaned up the mess? Seems a little too unrealistic, if you ask me."

"Seriously Bella? You're talking about unrealistic? You?" Lisa frowned and went back to tracking the Cullens' banking records.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, shocked.

"They're vampires. Did you like, never figure it out? Ever?" she asked bitingly and I glared at her. She sighed. "Did they ever eat in front of you? Did they ever sleep at night?"

"Yes!" I screamed and Lisa flinched at the volume of my voice. I cleared my throat and tried again.

"Yes they did. They ate with me every evening. And this one time…" I trailed off, as I felt my face turn beet red. This of course peaked Lisa's interest.

_She's such a nosy whore. Do you think she knows that?_

I'm pretty sure she'll sheesh kebab me if I ever call her a whore.

_That or you're really a coward. _

"Has there been any bow chika wow wow?" she asked, smirking. I rolled my eyes.

"No there hasn't! But this one time…I was working late at their place and Charlie was out. It was pretty late at night. It must have been, what, one-thirty in the morning. And I couldn't sleep in my room. So I got out and I saw a light in Edward's room…I thought he must have been awake and so I knocked but he didn't respond, so I just pushed the door open. And he was there in the corner of his bed. And his little light was on. And he was just so adorable. I couldn't resist. I just got into bed with him—I actually fell asleep. And the next morning, he was wrapped up all around me…" I trailed off, my vision blurry as I thought about how all of this was a lie.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I wouldn't have told you if I had any idea…"Lisa whispered and I shook my head, wiping the tears that had overflown. "I'm sorry."

"Honey, you couldn't have known. It's alright. Let's just get back to work, okay?" I murmured and she nodded, taking the hint.

She turned around and started humming like she always did. I sighed and got up, walking up to the window in my room.

Was everything a lie? All of it? Every sweet word, every heated look? It was hard to believe. Absolutely impossible to comprehend. Did he really do this because he wanted some cheap thrill that came out of seducing a clueless human?

It sounded cruel. And wrong. So, so wrong.

I whirled around and walked up to Lisa, shaking her shoulder almost violently. She winced in irritation and glared.

"What the hell, Bella?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm sober now."

Lisa's brows furrowed in confusion. "I know that. Look Bella, my flight leaves in the evening and I have school tomorrow. Just let me complete this, okay? I know you're sober. Yay for you."

"No. What I meant was, I'm sober. I can talk to Edward now."

"Bella…"

"No, Lisa." I interrupted. "I've had a lifetime of people making choices for me. Enough now. So I'm gonna ask you once more, nicely. Just…come with me to their house."

Lisa sighed in resignation. "Okay. I don't know the way—"

"I'll drive. You just be there. You know, for moral support."

"Okay. Alright. Let's go."

Exactly a half hour later, we were still in my car, both of us too freaked to walk into the vampires' lair first.

_Well go ahead. You were so brave at home. What's up with you now?_

I'm scared! What if they, you know, eat me?

_You're being ridiculous. Have they ever eaten you before? Enough with the drama, B._

I bristled at Nellie's choice of words and rolled my eyes. Unclipping my seat belt, I walked around my car to open Lisa's door. She looked up at me with puppy-dog eyes and I frowned at her, reaching across and unclipping her seat belt myself. I tugged at her hand a little and she obliged.

We were still walking towards the front porch when an errant thought caught my attention.

"Do you think they can hear us? I mean if they have like, super hearing, then they should be able to hear us, right?" I whispered.

"I'm sure they can hear us. Bella, are you sure this is a good idea? I know you want to talk to Edward, but—"

"Lisa, I'm sure. I have to talk to him. He spoke to drunk Bella. I don't know what she said to him but sober Bella has a lot to say. And there's no better time," I said, resolutely.

_No seriously. Sometimes, you say stuff with so much conviction, that I actually am tempted to believe you. It's p-a-thetic. _

I ignored Nellie's monologue and walked up to the Cullen front porch, with Lisa in tow. We stopped at the door. Alice always answered the door for me before I usually even knocked. Alice wasn't here now.

I took a deep breath and prayed for strength.

"Edward! If you can hear me, then please, answer the door," I said in a normal tone. Immediately the door was wrenched open and on the other side of it, looking every bit as beautiful as the first time I had seen him, was Edward Cullen.

So he could hear us as we spoke outside. Interesting.

"We need to talk," I whispered and he nodded slowly, his eyes raking over my body quickly. He stepped aside to let me enter and just as I was about to walk in, Lisa tugged on my wrist.

"While this looks really tempting to me, I can't come in with you. I promised to come here with you and I kept that promise. But this one's all yours. Good luck, Bella," she smiled sadly.

Inside the Cullen house, everything was the same. The same and yet so different. I glanced around and sighed at my own thoughts.

The dinner table that sat had probably been used last when I'd eaten here last. The kitchen had probably been untouched since the last time Esme fixed me lunch.

I wanted to ask him where the rest of his family was, but I refrained. I hated goodbyes anyway. Why make everything harder?

"Bella? Love?" Edward murmured as he raised his hand, palm outstretched towards me.

"Don't call me that," I whispered. "Please…just don't make this any harder."

_Don't do this, Bella. You're going to regret this. _

Edward nodded and his hands fell limp at his sides. It broke my heart to see him so forlorn but I had made up my mind. There were some things that Edward Cullen had to know.

"Edward. I came here today because there are some things that you need to know. And I want to tell them to you. And there are questions that you need to answer," I murmured.

"I thought about everything. From that very first wink you gave me in the cafeteria to last night. Everything. I dissected every damn thing you and your family said and did. And I think I know some things. I just need you to tell me if I've drawn the right conclusions."

The resolution in my voice was clear. My hands were twisted around each other, my nails digging into my palms.

"You knew me before I came here. You were already knee deep in information about me before you even met me, or before I even told you about my law-breaking hobbies. Am I right?"

_Don't do this._

There was a beat of silence. And another.

"Yes. We knew. But if you let me explain, I'll tell you everything, Bella."

"I've been by myself for some time now, Edward. I've been alone with a woman that wasn't my mother since I was twelve. My Mom died, and my Dad didn't want me and I— I've been alone since then. I don't need you. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I especially don't need _vampires _that stalk me and actually pretend to care."

Edward eyes were wide as he frantically shook his head.

"It's not like that, love, I swear. Alice had a vision. About a month before you came to Forks, Alice had a vision. Of you. She saw you fighting tooth and nail with an older woman – it was Lisa's mother – and you won the fight. You'd decided to come to Forks. And then she saw another vision…" he choked and shook his head.

"She saw you and me. We were…together."

"Together how?" I asked. Edward just kept quiet. The silence alone frustrated me, somehow, and in a move that was so unlike me, I lifted my arm to cock a slap across his face, but his hand jumped up, and he caught my wrist.

"You were a vampire in the vision," he sighed.

_Bella, listen to me. You're having a serious case of tunnel vision here. I don't know what you're thinking or if you're thinking at all but please. This is madness. Stop!_

That was the biggest serious speech Nellie had ever given me but I was determined to ignore her today. It was like I'd said to Lisa. I'd allowed other people to run my life more than I probably should have. I was done with that. There was one last thing I wanted to know.

"Edward, after last night, does Alice still see that happening?"

It was like someone flicked on a light switch. Edward's eyes shined as a relieved but small smile ghosted over his lips.

"Nothing you or I do shatters that vision, Bella. Alice said she'd imagined all possible scenarios but in the end…" he trailed off, his voice soft, eyes content but the pain lingered around the edges.

I nodded. I'd expected as much.

"You and I, we're done. I'm not gonna let you hurt me anymore. You're not going to have any sort of control over my life. Not now. Not ever," I said, firmly and stepped further away from Edward. His face had contorted into one of grief and it seemed to harden and break my heart in the same moment.

"I love you Bella."

My lower lip quivered. "Edward, don't—"

"I love you, and I'm sorry––you need to know that. I'm so fucking sorry. I want to tell you so much…" Edward bowed his head, his shoulders hunched and even though I know he couldn't, he was bleeding. But it wasn't his body that bled. It was his heart.

"I don't want to know, Edward. I don't think I could take anymore lies."

I squeezed my eyes closed and turned away, my legs leading me numbly toward the door. My hand reached for the doorknob and I hung on to it, simply so I wouldn't go running back to him.

"Goodbye, Edward," I whispered and I hear his agonized voice whisper my name once. And then silence.

I pulled the door open and Carlisle Cullen stood in front of me, a wistful smile on his face.

"You're leaving." It wasn't a question, simply a statement of fact.

"I am…sir." It stung to use those words. I'd never felt like nothing but his employee as much as I did in that moment. He'd never let me feel like one, but that didn't matter now.

"Your work's almost done. Just give me a couple of days and I'll email you when it's all finished. Expect my mail by about next week. We should be good by then," I said, my voice almost detached. It was unrecognizable.

"Bella—"

"You can just send the money over to my place. Or the cheque."

He sighed and the sound was beaten. Resigned.

"It was good working with you, Mr. Cullen. Thank you, sir. For everything." I'm sure the double meaning wasn't lost on him.

But he still nodded and moved away, making room for me to pass by him.

Lisa was sitting in the driver's seat of my car, I could see her. It gave me some peace, although I'm not sure why. I was almost to my car when I turned around and saw Carlisle still looking at me.

"I hope this erases any vision your daughter sees," I whispered and he stared back at me, unblinking. It was a low blow, I knew, but I felt like it needed to be said.

I sat down in the backseat of my car – unfeeling, numb – and as Lisa drove towards my house, I bend my knees, settling my legs on the seat, lowered my head to my knees and wept.

* * *

**Hate Bella yet? Please don't.**


	13. Chapter 13

_Too much love will kill you  
Just as sure as none at all  
It'll drain the power that's in you  
Make you plead and scream and crawl  
And the pain will make you crazy  
You're the victim of your crime  
Too much love will kill you - every time_

_-Queen_

**Chapter 13**

**BPOV**

_Pull a Nike, Bella. Just do it!_

I can't! I'm kinda scared. Come on, Nell, cut me some slack. This thing I'm doing isn't very easy. And I'm not in the best of moods.

_You haven't been in the best of moods since the past week, babe._

Aren't you happy about that? I thought you would be, you know. You like seeing me unhappy.

_Fucking right. But you've been downright pathetic with your weeping. I can't take tears. They're annoying. _

Tears are annoying? Nellie, seriously, you are the most inhumane person I will probably ever know.

_Yeah well, good thing I'm not a 'person', isn't it?_

I walked out of my room and down the stairs in a hurry. Charlie was about to leave for work and I had f_inally _gathered the courage I would need to speak to him. My only problem was Nellie…she wasn't being very supportive.

I decided to try again.

So should I do this now, or not?

_This step you're taking, takes you one step further away from Edward Cullen. So, no. Don't do this._

Weren't you the one that used to warn me about staying away from him in the first place?

_I didn't how much he loved you back then. I was stupid. The same type you are right now. _

Thanks for all the help, Nell. I'm going to do this right now.

_You would have anyway._

Dad was figuring out the mechanics of our dishwasher, when I snuck up on him.

"Dad," I whispered, and he jumped almost a foot into the air, nearly taking me down with him too. I let out a little squeal and Charlie looked at me with shocked eyes.

"Jesus, Bells. What is up with you?"

He looked pretty shaken, so I stepped back a little and fiddled with my fingers. "Sorry, dad."

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Now tell me. What is it?"

"I, uh…you may want to sit down for this," I muttered nervously, gesturing towards the dining table. Charlie sighed and nodded, moving towards it with such a defeated look in his eyes that it made me wonder if he knew anything that had happened in the past week.

"Okay. Spill."

I took a deep breath and prepared to speak, when Charlie interrupted.

"I was a teenager once. This stuff happens, Bella. You just have to be responsible. But clearly, you haven't been responsible. You do realize that this is life changing, don't you? That this changes everything. And that Cullen kid? I'm gonna kill him and make it look like an accident, I swear. I'm a cop…" Charlie continued muttering to himself and my eyes grew wider and wider as he kept talking until I _finally _realized what he was trying to say.

"Dad. Dad! Stop! It's not like that. I'm not pregnant. I'm a virgin. Jesus!"

Charlie stopped his rambling immediately and looked at me with confused eyes.

"Just listen, okay?" I sighed and once Dad had given me a weak nod, I took another deep breath.

"I want you to change my school. I don't wanna have to go to Forks High School, anymore. There's a school at the Quileute reservation that I'd like to switch to," I stated, confidently.

_Confident? Bella, sweetie, you squeaked the entire thing out. You sounded like an effing pussy. No pun intended. _

I didn't squeak!

Dad's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

_I told you so!_

"Why would you want to leave the school? Baby, is there something you aren't telling me?" Dad asked with still narrowed eyes that honestly freaked the shit out of me.

"I just…it's the Cullens, Dad. I can't stand to go to that school anymore. I just can't!" I grumbled, my hands going to my hair and tugging sharply.

"Well you're just going to have to endure it. Because I sure am not changing your school."

_Fucking right. Go Team Charlie!_

My head snapped up at Charlie's blunt tone and my eyes widened in disbelief.

"Why not? It's not like we can't afford the—"

"Money isn't everything Bella. And yes, we can afford the transfer. But no. I'm not transferring you anywhere. You broke up with Edward Cullen. You can still put up with the rest of the lot, can't you?"

"I can't," I whispered softly, but it was of no use. The decision was made for me.

I was staying right here. I banged my head on the table a few times, praying hard for a concussion. No such luck. I sighed and Charlie chuckled.

"Go get ready for school, kiddo."

And like a good daddy's girl, I did. Maybe that would earn me some brownie points…?

_Hells to the no. You ain't going nowhere but Forks High School, biatch._

-0-

"How long are you going to ignore me?" a painfully familiar voice asked but much to my surprise, I answered without creating a scene.

"For as long as it takes for you to realize that I do not wish to talk to you or your family anymore," I replied.

"So you're angry at all of us because of who we are? As if we actually can control that," Alice laughed, spitefully. I turned to her in shock, unaware that such a bitter sound could come out of such a sweet girl.

_Amazing what a messed up human can do to a happy family of vampires, huh?_

I don't exactly remember lying to them and betraying them, Nellie. How you can support them is seriously beyond me.

_Someone's gotta stand for the truth._

Truth, ha! Good one, Nellie. Good one.

I snorted at Alice and without answering her, turned to leave. Immediately, a pale white hand shot out to grab a hold of my arm and I winced in pain.

"Bella, what you're doing to my brother is wrong. It's the most messed up thing ever that, he was trying to protect you all along and you're just ignoring him like he's nothing. And you paid off Ben to sit with him in class. Are you for real? That's how low you'll go?" Alice hissed angrily.

"What do you fucking want, Alice Cullen?" I asked, pulling my arm away from her grasp.

"Come with me," she whispered. "Just…just please, Bella. I won't take you to my house…just please come with me. I love you, you know that. I want what's best for you. I'm begging you."

I closed my eyes and nodded. Best to just get this over with.

_That's not why you're going with Alice and you know it._

-0-

The sandwich consisted of two long pieces of beef and three slices of cheese and with what looked like guacamole mixed with some mustard dripping down onto the paper wrapped around it. I gagged and buried my head in my hands.

"I'm a vegetarian, Alice. I thought you knew that."

"Well I do. I don't really care, though. Have you looked at yourself? You're bones. And I didn't bring you to Subway for nothing. Eat that. I don't want to have to look at it for long."

I pushed the sandwich aside – using two fingers – and glared at Alice.

"I'm fine, Alice. Tell me what's new."

Alice sighed and looked at the sandwich with disdain. "That smells pathetic."

"Alice."

"I'm sorry. For what I said. Honestly, though. I'm _not_ sorry for what I said. More like I'm sorry for how I said it. I shouldn't have been so unkind," Alice whispered.

I nodded. "But that doesn't change anything."

"Sometimes you're just as short-sighted as he is. It's amazing."

"Alice, why did you bring me here today?" I asked, impatiently. At least I pretended to. I'm sure my choking voice didn't fool her.

"I brought you here to tell you that we never lied to you, Bella. Whatever we did, it was with the best intentions. At least, that was what we thought it was. And we were wrong. So very, very wrong. But we want to make this right. And so does my brother. But you won't let him. So _you_ tell me why you won't co-operate with him" Alice completed her speech, with an eyebrow raised at me.

"Are you trying to justify your lies, Alice?"

"Don't be irrational, Bella. We have to keep our secret a secret. Does that make sense?" she asked and I nodded dumbly. Alice reached across the table and grasped my hand, squeezing softly. "When I saw the first vision of you two, Edward was furious. Livid. He promised to find prevent my vision from coming true, somehow. He didn't want to 'damn you to a half-existence.'" Alice rolled her eyes heavenward.

I wasn't very sure why Alice was telling me this but I nodded. "Then what?"

"Then well—we couldn't talk any sense into him, he wouldn't listen to us—Carlisle put his foot down. Edward wanted all of us to move. But Carlisle wouldn't budge, not after we'f just settled here. And so Edward and Carlisle fought for almost two hours before they reached an impasse. Carlisle offered that we would not try to interfere in your life, and Edward agreed, but only barely. And yet, that first day in the school cafeteria it was Edward that made the first move, wasn't it? He wouldn't stay away. I knew he wouldn't." Alice sighed and seemed to almost stare right through me.

"Alice…"I whispered, not sure how to respond just yet.

"It's okay, Bella, you don't have to say a thing. Just remember that we lied to you only because we absolutely had to." She squeezed me hand again. "And everything Edward did, from the beginning up until today, he only did because he loved you. Think about it, Bella. I think you'll be shocked at what you find."

And Alice Cullen walked away from me, leaving me conflicted and confused.

-0-

That night I decided I had had enough. It was either going to be this way or that. Meaning, I was either going to go to Edward or I was totally going to let him off the hook.

_There's really no hurry. And it's not as if his feelings for you are going to change. _

Yes, but I walked away from him, remember?

_Yes, but he loves you. And you love him. That's all that should matter, bitch._

You're talking as if I've already decided to go back to him. I'm still in the process of decision making, remember?

_You know what, I'm tired of you moving back and forth like this. Just make the call already._

I can't!

_Yeah well, you're gonna have to._ Nellie wasirritated.

I was just about to open my mouth but a _clunk_ at my window distracted me. I kept absolutely quiet for about a second but it was peaceful then so I let it go. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and stood up when there was another _clunk_.

I walked up to the window and opened it and my eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when I saw Edward Cullen standing downstairs with almost a dozen small stones in his hand.

"What the—what are you doing here?" I hissed at him and he just continued to stare at me. "What do you want?"

No response.

I rolled my eyes at his theatrics and opened the window wider, stepping aside, making way for him to come in. Almost immediately, Edward Cullen was standing before me.

"What?" I said, self-consciously, when he had been staring at me for some time. He smiled a small smile.

"It's amazing, being here, being able to look into your eyes. You always hide them from me in class. And you hardly ever look at me anymore," he sighed and stepped closer to me, running one cool finger down my cheek.

His fingers lingered even when he had completed the circuit, and my entire body trembled as my body ignited with his touch.

"Edward, please…" I whispered, not knowing myself what I was pleading for.

"Will you listen to what I have to say?" he asked softly and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to say yes to him.

_You're making a mistake, Bella. And you're a fool if you can't see that, _Nellie's voice hissed in my ear and I shuddered as I thought of the grief she would give me if I refused Edward now.

"Yes," I whispered and Edward sighed with what sounded like relief.

And then Edward started to speak.

There was pain.

There was suffering.

There was guilt, remorse.

There was love.

And there was hope.

And as he continued to speak, even my heart overflowed and tears fell in hot gushes down my face.

His pain was my pain.

His suffering was my suffering.

And I was in love with him.

I continued to snivel as he continued to speak. After a few more moments, he was finally quiet. He continued to stare at me with what I could only describe as adoration and longing. The adoration I could handle, but the longing…it broke my heart. His eyes were soft as he spoke.

"I realize I should have stayed away, like you asked me to. But Alice spoke to you today and I thought the best thing to do was to come over here and tell you everything." He took a deep breath and smiled sadly. "I've said all I had to say, and I'm going to go now. I believe you have a lot to think about."

Suddenly his hands were touching my face, cool thumbs wiping away the burning tears, lips pressing a kiss to my temple.

"I love you, Bella. And I want you to do what you think is best for you. Not me, not anyone else. You. Just you." And with those words, Edward Cullen was gone.

I tried to sleep that night, I honestly did. But sleep wouldn't come and every time I closed my eyes, I could see _his _divine face gazing at me with so much pain etched on it, I dreaded closing my eyes.

_What are you going to do?_

I have absolutely no idea. I love him. I want him. I just don't know if I deserve him.

_And why do you think that you don't deserve him? _

Because I loved my Mom. I wanted her with me. She died. I loved my Dad. I wanted him with me. He refused to acknowledge me for the better part of my childhood. Makes me think there's something wrong with me, Nell. Plus, he's a vampire. Choosing him would mean giving up everything. My life with my father, my friends, children. Every damned thing.

_Bella, I hope you know better than to buy that BS. _

I sighed tiredly.

_Look. I'm your conscience. I can't help you here coz I say what you feel deep inside. So you're gonna have to look to someone else for that reassurance. Coz I sure ain't capable of doing that. And as for Edward being a vampire? You think he hasn't thought about that? Try and speak to _him_ about it, why don't you? No help from me. _

Yeah, I noticed. Bleh. You suck.

I sighed again and got up from my bed. It took some maneuvering but I was finally able to manage putting my shoes on in the dark.

_Where'd you think you're going?_

I need re-assurance. Who else to ask than the man I love?

_Yipee! You know I'm real good at this pep-talk business. You should totally publicise me._

Fuck you, Nell.

_Yeah, you wish._

* * *

**Really, really sorry for the obnoxiously long wait. Between going on a holiday and my new academic year that started just this week, it's been real hard to write anything at all. Many many thanks to muffinmom for all her help, support and patience **

**And thanks to you, guys, for not giving up on this story and it's author. Love you lots!**

**Rhea **


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